TThe Diary of a CEO
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12 September 2022

Chris Kamara: The Untold Heartbreaking Story Of A Football Legend

1Frameworks
12Insights

Frameworks in this episode

Insights & moments

The myth-busts, hot takes, explainers, and tools worth keeping.

Explainer· 2

Explainer28:00

Kamara's Route from Thyroid Treatment to an Apraxia Diagnosis

Kamara describes feeling unwell and developing slurred or difficult speech before seeking medical help after a long delay. He says treatment stabilised his underactive thyroid but did not resolve his speech, and that subsequent scans and specialist assessment led to a diagnosis of apraxia of speech. This is his account of his individual diagnostic journey, not general medical guidance.

  • He says he ignored symptoms for roughly a year or longer
  • Thyroid treatment did not resolve the speech difficulty
  • He reports that an MRI found no visible brain problem
  • A specialist identified apraxia of speech and ordered further testing

i ignored it ignored it which is the worst thing you can possibly do

Chris Kamara · 30:00

you've got apraxia of speech

Chris Kamara quoting his specialist · 32:30
#apraxia#thyroid#diagnosis#health
Explainer36:00

What Apraxia of Speech Feels Like to Chris Kamara

Kamara says his thoughts can remain quick while the pathway from thought to speech feels slow, restricted or unpredictable. Hearing himself no longer sound like his former rapid-fire broadcasting self feels strange, and daily variation makes speaking and social situations require conscious effort.

  • He experiences a mismatch between fast thoughts and slower speech
  • Some days the spoken word differs from the word he intended
  • Speaking can feel effortful rather than automatic
  • He checks his speech soon after waking each day

the message from the brain to the mouth is really slow

Chris Kamara · 36:00

every day i wake up the first thing i think am i gonna be able to talk today

Chris Kamara · 1:05:30
#apraxia#speech#lived experience#anxiety

Story· 7

Story01:30

Growing Up as the Only Black Family on the Estate

Chris Kamara recalls racism, police suspicion and intermittent food insecurity during his childhood in Middlesbrough. He says the hardship clouded parts of his early life, although he does not frame every day of childhood as bleak.

  • His family was the only Black family on their estate
  • He recalls police coming to their home when local trouble occurred
  • His father's gambling sometimes left the household short of food
  • His mother borrowed food or money from neighbours when necessary

we were the only black family on our estate

Chris Kamara · 02:30

she had to look after her kids

Chris Kamara · 08:00
#childhood#racism#poverty#family
Story09:30

Holding Love and Harm in the Same Family Story

Kamara describes love and loyalty in his childhood home alongside violence by his father toward his mother. He becomes emotional while recalling that he confronted his father about it only when his father was dying and now regrets the timing, not the judgement that the behaviour was wrong.

  • He describes his mother as deeply loyal and protective
  • He says violence toward his mother occurred in the home
  • He is reluctant to let that conduct define his father's whole legacy
  • He regrets waiting until his father's deathbed to confront him

that behavior was wrong but at the same time i love you

Steven Bartlett · 11:30

why wait until he's nearly dead to say something

Chris Kamara · 12:00
#family#domestic violence#grief#parenthood
Story14:30

How a Navy Rejection Led to Kamara's Football Break

Kamara says his father made him join the Navy despite an opening with Middlesbrough. After repeatedly asking to train with the Navy football team, he eventually scored twice when the side was short of players, then scored twice against Portsmouth reserves and was bought out of the Navy for £200.

  • His father rejected a possible Middlesbrough apprenticeship
  • A Navy coach initially refused to let him train with the team
  • A player shortage created an unexpected chance
  • His performances led Portsmouth to buy him out of the Navy

i scored two goals from the wing and got drafted straight into the team

Chris Kamara · 19:30

they bought me out for the magnificent sum of 200 pounds

Chris Kamara · 20:00
#football#navy#persistence#career
Story21:00

The Racial Abuse Kamara Faced on and off the Pitch

Kamara recounts racial abuse from childhood through his playing career, including being spat on at Millwall and refused service in a Wetherby pub. He says the pub incident was the first time some teammates recognised what he faced, while his father's instruction not to react shaped his response.

  • He remembers his first racist encounter at age eight in detail
  • He says supporters at Millwall spat on him during a throw-in
  • A pub barman refused to serve him after a Portsmouth match
  • Some teammates only then understood that such treatment was recurring

i never took a throwing ever there again

Chris Kamara · 24:30

the barman says we don't serve his kind in here

Chris Kamara · 26:30
#racism#football#discrimination#teammates
Story37:00

Why Kamara Nearly Walked Away from Broadcasting

Kamara says he planned to leave all of his television work because speech was central to his professional identity and he felt he could no longer deliver his old standard. Sky's departure tribute moved him deeply, while other broadcasters encouraged him to continue and gave him more work rather than withdrawing it.

  • He considered quitting every broadcaster he worked for
  • He felt the condition directly affected the skill his career depended on
  • Close colleagues had noticed changes before he disclosed the diagnosis
  • Several broadcasters explicitly told him they still wanted him

i was gonna quit everything

Chris Kamara · 37:00

you can't pull the wool over people's eyes who know you real well

Chris Kamara · 40:30
#broadcasting#career change#support#identity
Story49:30

When Young Filly Called Kamara a Black TV Trailblazer

Kamara recalls Young Filly approaching him before an ITV programme and describing him as an icon and inspiration for Black viewers. Kamara initially rejects the label, but the encounter gives him a direct example of an influence he had not recognised in himself.

  • Young Filly linked Kamara's career to a period with little Black television representation
  • Kamara did not see himself as an icon or trailblazer
  • The encounter made his influence tangible through one person's testimony

do you know what icon you are for black people

Chris Kamara quoting Young Filly · 50:00

you'd be my inspiration

Chris Kamara quoting Young Filly · 50:30
#representation#television#legacy#young filly
Story1:08:30

The Childhood Football Dreams Kamara Actually Lived

Asked to name his happiest moment outside having children, Kamara chooses achieving the ambition and dream he formed as a young player. He had imagined playing for Middlesbrough and Leeds, and later did both.

  • Playing for Middlesbrough was his childhood ambition
  • Playing for Leeds was his childhood dream
  • He identifies fulfilling both as a defining source of joy

ambition and dream achieved

Chris Kamara · 1:09:30
#football#middlesbrough#leeds#dreams

Q&A· 2

Q&A41:30

The Treatments Kamara Says Helped—Without Claiming a Cure

Kamara describes trying exercises, microcurrent treatment, hyperbaric oxygen, speech therapy, anxiety therapy and vitamins after third parties offered theories about his condition. He reports improvements in balance, anxiety and his own estimate of speech capacity, but the episode does not establish that these interventions cure apraxia or validate the biological explanations he was given.

  • A contact claimed that Kamara could be cured and introduced him to a professor
  • Kamara reports using several interventions at the same time
  • He credits therapy with reducing work-related anxiety
  • His improvement percentages are personal estimates rather than clinical results
  • The causal and cure claims presented in the conversation remain unverified

he said i can cure you

Chris Kamara quoting Winford Dore · 41:30

the other problem the apraxia is a biological condition so i can't help with that

Chris Kamara quoting his therapist · 44:30
#apraxia#treatment#therapy#medical claims
Q&A46:00

Feeling Like a Fraud When Your Old Standard Changes

Kamara says he feels fraudulent in broadcasting because audiences are no longer getting what he considers the best version of him. Steven Bartlett challenges that judgement by arguing that Kamara's experience, openness and continued presence can serve people differently, but that is the host's interpretation rather than a proven outcome.

  • Kamara compares current performance with his former broadcasting speed
  • He worries that colleagues are tolerating rather than valuing him
  • He wonders whether continuing could tarnish his earlier legacy
  • Bartlett argues that vulnerability can create a different kind of value

i feel a fraud now in terms of broadcasting

Chris Kamara · 46:00

you're serving the world in a very important way now

Steven Bartlett · 48:30
#self-doubt#identity#broadcasting#vulnerability

Takeaway· 1

Takeaway52:00

Why Family Now Matters More to Kamara Than Material Things

Kamara says becoming a grandfather shifted his priorities away from material things and toward time with family. He also credits his wife Anne with carrying a heavy burden during his speech difficulties and enabling him to continue working when he chooses.

  • Time with his grandchildren is now his main priority
  • He says material things no longer matter in the same way
  • Anne noticed that something was wrong before he accepted it
  • He describes her as his rock during the condition

my main priority is spending time with them

Chris Kamara · 52:00

she's been my rock

Chris Kamara · 1:03:30
#family#grandchildren#marriage#priorities