16 June 2022

Example: The Dark Side Of Money & Fame

1Frameworks

13Insights

Frameworks in this episode

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Insights & moments

The myth-busts, hot takes, explainers, and tools worth keeping.

Myth Buster· 1

Myth Buster48:30

Why a Busy Music Career Can Look Like Retirement

Example contrasts sold-out touring and continued releases with strangers' assumption that he retired because he is no longer prominent on radio or mainstream television. His account separates the public visibility of a current chart campaign from the underlying demand that can sustain a working live career.

Example says he kept touring and releasing music despite reduced mainstream visibility
Some listeners equate absence from radio and television with retirement
Mainstream recognition and an active career are not the same measure
A durable live audience can exist without current chart hits

“you realize that hits aren't that important”
Example · 48:30

“i've never stopped releasing music i've never stopped touring”
Example · 58:30

#music career#media visibility#touring#audiences

Explainer· 3

Explainer10:30

Why Example Calls His Overactive Mind a Gift and a Curse

Example describes thoughts, rhymes, and imagined scenarios continuing while he works or speaks with other people. He values that mental flow when writing music, but says it can also make listening and switching off difficult; yoga, running, swimming, and breathwork are personal practices he finds settling, not treatments established by the episode.

Example says unrelated thoughts can continue during meetings and studio work
Spontaneous internal rhyming supports his creative process
The same mental activity can interfere with attention and rest
He reports that movement and breathwork help him personally

“it's kind of been a gift and a curse”
Example · 11:00

“not being able to switch off sometimes”
Example · 12:00

#creativity#attention#breathwork#self-awareness

Explainer13:00

How Music-Industry Expectations Become a Losing Formula

Example explains that a song can absorb months of work and still be rejected by radio programmers, playlists, or listeners. He describes a chain of pressure running through labels, managers, marketing teams, and artists, arguing that detailed forecasts feel exhilarating during a rise but create a punishing system when outcomes fail to match them.

Creative effort does not guarantee playlisting, radio support, or streams
Finished songs invite expectations even when artists try to avoid them
Commercial forecasts distribute pressure across the label system
Example now says enjoyment by listeners matters more than predicting numbers

“you have to be prepared for disappointment in this industry”
Example · 13:00

“it's actually a losing formula”
Example · 15:00

#music industry#expectations#creative work#pressure

Explainer57:00

The Trap of Competing With Your Former Success

Example says he now competes mainly with his own earlier work, yet still wants another chart hit to recover a feeling of validation and challenge assumptions that he has stopped. Bartlett highlights the moving benchmark: repeated number ones can make a number two feel disappointing even though it remains an exceptional result.

Example measures new music partly against his own previous career
He wants another hit for the feeling and public validation, not because touring depends on it
Past peaks can make objectively strong outcomes feel inadequate
He recognises the tension between wanting validation and believing he should not need it

“i only compete with myself”
Example · 57:30

“you don't want to be dragged”
Steven Bartlett · 1:01:00

#validation#success#comparison#music industry

Story· 5

Story06:00

How Love at Home Helped Example Withstand Bullying

Example recalls being mocked for his appearance at school but says his mother's reassurance made him feel loved and understood. In his account, that secure home environment helped him develop the resilience later required by a career full of rejection and disappointment.

Example says classmates mocked his teeth and ears
His mother responded by normalising physical differences and affirming love
He believes support at home prepared him for adversity outside it
He connects that resilience with surviving repeated disappointment in music

“I just know that my mom always made me feel loved and understood”
Example · 06:00

“there was so much love at home that whatever hit me on the outside world”
Example · 06:30

#childhood#bullying#family#resilience

Story15:00

The Personal Cost of Example's Fame Without Guardrails

Example says fame, money, access, alcohol, and drugs coincided with dishonesty and infidelity in his twenties. A disappearance during Glastonbury led his family to confront him; although the intervention did not change him immediately, he remembers the pain of seeing his parents cry and says he later tried to make amends.

Example says new access and attention helped normalise escalating behaviour
He acknowledges hurting a former partner and disappointing his family
His family confronted him after he disappeared for about 48 hours at Glastonbury
He does not express pride in the period, but frames it as a source of lessons and attempted repair

“when i became famous and came into money i just went a bit off the rails with drugs and alcohol”
Example · 15:30

“it's just not nice to see your parents cry”
Example · 19:30

#fame#substance use#infidelity#family

Story24:00

The Week Success Looked Full but Felt Empty

Example recounts a week of gigs, shoots, radio, television, little sleep, and a lonely return to his step-grandfather's house. Despite being able to perform through exhaustion and drinking, he remembers reaching the end of the schedule unable to continue and later recognising that he wanted comfort and connection rather than more casual sex.

Public success arrived before the cash and living conditions people might assume
The promotional schedule left little room for sleep or recovery
Example says he drank while travelling and still delivered energetic performances
In hindsight, his search for physical comfort reflected loneliness he did not recognise then

“i remember just getting to the end of the week just going like i can't do this”
Example · 26:30

“i don't just want to have like meaningless sex i just want to actually be held”
Example · 31:30

#loneliness#burnout#touring#connection

Story33:30

How a Long-Distance Relationship Compressed Honesty

Example says meeting Erin at the right moment prompted him to return to values of honesty and faithfulness. Because much of their early relationship happened through calls between London and Australia, he says scarce time together and interview-like FaceTime conversations led them to disclose fears, histories, desires, and expectations unusually quickly.

Example describes meeting Erin as a reset rather than a gradual reform
He connects the change with values learned from his parents
Long-distance calls made conversation the centre of the relationship
He says the couple knew extensive personal details within six months

“reset go back to who you've always known you were meant to be”
Example · 34:30

“because that time becomes so precious you tell each other absolutely everything”
Example · 35:00

#relationships#honesty#long distance#timing

Story1:07:00

The Band Environment That Helped Launch Bigger Careers

Example reflects on former band members and collaborators who later became prominent songwriters, producers, composers, and live-show specialists. He does not claim sole credit, but believes years of shared touring and writing contributed to their craft and ambition, and takes pride in an environment from which people left on good terms to pursue bigger work.

Example names several collaborators who later built major careers
He credits David Stewart's own talent while saying their work together was instrumental
He describes learning as mutual rather than one-directional mentorship
He views amicable departures and later success as evidence of a creative, ambitious workplace

“nearly everybody who's worked alongside with me i've learnt from them”
Example · 1:09:00

“it was clearly a nice place to work and was inspirational and was very creative and ambitious”
Example · 1:10:30

#collaboration#creative teams#mentorship#career growth

Q&A· 1

Q&A44:30

Example on Miscarriage Grief and the Overlooked Father

Example describes the loss of the couple's second pregnancy and being asked, immediately before a television appearance, to discuss it publicly. He says messages from other men made the conversation feel worthwhile, while his own experience was one of grief and helplessness alongside the expectation that he should focus solely on supporting his wife.

The couple had shared news of the pregnancy before the loss
A television producer asked Example to replace a music interview with a discussion of miscarriage
He says male viewers responded positively because fathers' grief is rarely discussed
His father asked directly about his feelings and what he needed

“no one ever really asks the dad how are you feeling”
Example · 45:30

“just helpless really it's awful”
Example · 46:00

#miscarriage#grief#fatherhood#mens health

Takeaway· 3

Takeaway20:00

Example on How One Breach Made the Next Easier

Looking back on repeated infidelity, Example describes a progression in which the first breach felt bad but repetition reduced its emotional force. He presents this as his own experience of a spiral, not a universal law, and notes that neither record deals nor early fame came with preparation for handling sudden access and temptation.

Example says he had not cheated in earlier serious relationships
He recalls the first breach feeling worse than later repetitions
Repeated behaviour became easier to rationalise in his experience
He believes young artists are often unprepared for the personal effects of fame

“you have that first time you do it you feel bad and then one becomes two”
Example · 21:30

“then it just kind of spirals out of control”
Example · 21:30

#behaviour#infidelity#fame#accountability

Takeaway1:03:30

Borrow the Musical Form, but Tell Your Own Story

Discussing drill tracks on his eighth album, Example says he used the sound without copying the criminal themes often associated with parts of the genre. He frames rap as an art form available to him when approached with respect for its culture and used to express his own experience rather than perform borrowed credentials.

Example took inspiration from drill production while writing from his own life
He once felt like an uninvited guest in rap and hip-hop
He no longer believes a performer needs to imitate a stereotyped biography
Respect for the culture and honesty about one's own story are his stated boundaries

“i've basically just taken inspiration from the beats and just done elliot”
Example · 1:04:00

“you've always just got to tell your own story”
Example · 1:04:30

#authenticity#hip-hop#creativity#culture

Takeaway1:05:00

What Matters to Example After Fame and Chart Success

Asked what makes a good life after experiencing fame's extremes, Example prioritises fatherhood, food, exercise, sleep, sex, and family connection. He says music and performing still matter, but claims he could stop both for a year and remain content if those other parts of life remained intact.

Listening to his children communicate is a daily source of reward
He names cooking, food, training, sleep, sex, and fatherhood as important
His identity no longer depends entirely on constant music output
The answer contrasts durable daily experiences with career status

“being a dad is so so important to me and so rewarding”
Example · 1:05:00

“i'd be totally happy with that as long as i had all the other things”
Example · 1:06:00

#good life#fatherhood#priorities#contentment