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01 April 2024

The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik

6Frameworks
15Insights

Frameworks in this episode

Insights & moments

The myth-busts, hot takes, explainers, and tools worth keeping.

Myth Buster· 5

Myth Buster03:30

Why media gives people an impossible script for normal sex

Malik argues that television and erotic media often depict instant erections, immediate penetration, and immediate orgasm, omitting ordinary foreplay and occasional difficulty. People then compare their bodies with a fictional script and conclude that they are broken. Her broader aim is to make sexual-health information understandable enough for people to distinguish normal variation from a problem that needs help.

  • Nighttime erections and nocturnal emissions are described as normal physiological functions
  • Media commonly compresses arousal, penetration, and orgasm into an unrealistic sequence
  • Occasional erection difficulty or delayed orgasm can occur without meaning a person is broken
  • Arousal and foreplay often take more time than entertainment portrays

you are essentially looking at a script that's not real.

Dr. Rena Malik · 04:30

What's wrong with me? Am I broken?

Dr. Rena Malik · 04:30
#sexual health#media literacy#normality#shame
Myth Buster13:00

There is no correct number of times a couple should have sex

Malik says partnered couples in studies average roughly once a week, but rejects that average as a target. The relevant standard is whether the sex provides pleasure, intimacy, and satisfaction for the people involved. One satisfying encounter a month may suit a couple better than frequent mediocre or unwanted sex.

  • Studies Malik references put partnered sex at about once a week on average
  • The average varies substantially between people and relationships
  • A population benchmark does not define what an individual couple should do
  • Quality, pleasure, and intimacy matter more than frequency

there's no ideal number

Dr. Rena Malik · 13:00

it's not the quantity of sex that matters, it's the quality of sex

Dr. Rena Malik · 13:30
#sex frequency#relationships#intimacy#comparison
Myth Buster45:00

Phones, laptops, saunas and sperm: heat is the clearer concern

Malik says testicles require a tightly regulated temperature for sperm production and that fever, hot tubs, saunas, laptops, and warm devices can raise local heat. Her conservative advice is most relevant to people already trying to conceive or experiencing fertility problems. She distinguishes this established temperature concern from claims about Wi-Fi or Bluetooth radiation, which she says remain uncertain in the discussion.

  • The scrotum helps keep the testicles within a temperature range suited to sperm production
  • Malik says fever can temporarily suppress sperm production
  • She advises people with fertility concerns to avoid regular hot tubs and saunas
  • Keeping a laptop directly off the lap is a low-cost precaution
  • The episode does not establish Wi-Fi or Bluetooth as the mechanism

anything that disrupts that temperature can cause abnormalities in sperm production.

Dr. Rena Malik · 45:30

there's some question about that, but we don't know.

Dr. Rena Malik · 47:30
#sperm#fertility#heat#phones#sauna
Myth Buster47:30

Masturbation does not have convincing evidence of lowering testosterone

Malik rejects the claim that masturbation meaningfully lowers testosterone or that abstinence reliably raises it. She describes a small study of ten young men after 21 days of abstinence, notes that the reported change was modest, and offers alternative explanations such as normal fluctuation and anticipatory arousal. She says people may abstain if they personally value other effects, but should not expect a well-established testosterone benefit.

  • The study Malik discusses involved only ten young healthy men
  • Testosterone fluctuates naturally over time
  • Anticipation after a long abstinence period may affect a single measurement
  • Malik says convincing high-quality evidence for a testosterone benefit is absent
  • Personal reasons for abstinence are separate from the hormone claim

it does not.

Dr. Rena Malik · 48:00

there's no empiric evidence that is convincing, high-quality level evidence

Dr. Rena Malik · 48:30
#masturbation#testosterone#abstinence#evidence
Myth Buster1:36:00

What can and cannot change penis length

Malik says penile traction has the best evidence among the lengthening options discussed, with older protocols requiring many hours a day for months and newer devices studied for shorter sessions. She says vacuum pumps draw blood into the penis to support an erection but have not been shown to create lasting length, while surgical approaches can carry substantial complications. She also puts the concern in context: the average erect length she cites is about 5.1 to 5.3 inches, and larger is not necessarily more pleasurable or comfortable.

  • Malik describes traction as tissue stretching over time, not instant enlargement
  • Older studies she cites averaged roughly a 2 cm gain after months of long daily use
  • Vacuum pumps can assist erections but have not been shown to increase lasting length
  • Some lengthening surgeries carry risks Malik considers inadvisable for most people
  • She cites an average erect length around 5.1-5.3 inches

the safest and most reliable way is using a traction device.

Dr. Rena Malik · 1:36:00

pumps have not been shown to increase penile length.

Dr. Rena Malik · 1:37:00
#penis size#traction#vacuum pump#sexual health

Explainer· 10

Explainer09:30

Why new erectile dysfunction can be a cardiovascular warning

Malik explains that erection problems caused by impaired blood flow may appear before symptoms of heart disease because penile arteries are smaller than coronary arteries. She cites figures linking erectile dysfunction with later heart attack, but presents the mechanism specifically as a vascular issue rather than saying every erection problem predicts heart disease. Pelvic-floor tension can also affect erections through a different, muscular pathway.

  • Malik says penile arteries are roughly 1-2 mm while coronary arteries are roughly 3-4 mm
  • A comparable blockage can therefore affect erections before producing chest symptoms
  • She cites about 15% of men diagnosed with erectile dysfunction having a heart attack within seven years
  • She also cites erectile dysfunction preceding heart attack in about half of affected men
  • Muscular pelvic-floor problems are a separate possible pathway to erection difficulty

a problem with erections could precede really serious heart consequences.

Dr. Rena Malik · 10:30

when you look at people who've had a heart attack, about 50% of men will have had erectile dysfunction prior

Dr. Rena Malik · 11:00
#erectile dysfunction#cardiovascular health#blood flow#pelvic floor
Explainer26:30

Spontaneous and responsive desire are both normal

Malik separates desire into spontaneous desire, which appears before touch, and responsive desire, which emerges after affectionate or sexual contact begins. She says men more often report the first and women more often report the second in the literature, particularly in long-term relationships, while emphasizing that both patterns are normal. Confusing responsive desire with broken desire can make someone avoid intimacy before arousal has a chance to develop.

  • Spontaneous desire appears without prior contact or stimulation
  • Responsive desire can emerge after touching, closeness, or romantic contact begins
  • Malik says the literature finds a sex-linked tendency, not an absolute rule
  • Fear of disappointing a partner can prevent someone with responsive desire from beginning any contact

Desire comes in two flavors.

Dr. Rena Malik · 26:30

responsive desire is not wrong. It's just different.

Dr. Rena Malik · 28:00
#desire#libido#relationships#arousal
Explainer35:30

What Malik says may be behind declining sperm counts

Malik says research over roughly 50 years reports substantial declines in average sperm concentration and also discusses declining testosterone. She points to increasing sedentary behavior and metabolic illness as plausible contributors, while describing microplastics and endocrine-disrupting chemicals as suspected rather than proven individual causes. She explicitly says human exposure evidence is correlational and that exact causal quantities are not established.

  • Malik reports an almost 50% decline in average sperm count across about 50 years
  • She says the current average remains above common fertility thresholds
  • Sedentary behavior, diabetes, high blood pressure, and impaired blood flow are proposed contributors
  • Environmental chemical exposure is presented as plausible and correlational, not conclusively causal
  • The host's projection of the decline another 50 years is speculation, not a study finding

we can't say it's causative

Dr. Rena Malik · 37:30

the average sperm count has declined almost 50%.

Dr. Rena Malik · 38:30
#sperm count#testosterone#fertility#environment
Explainer41:00

Semen volume and sperm concentration are not the same measure

Malik corrects a common confusion between the amount of semen ejaculated and the concentration of sperm within it. She says the interval since the last ejaculation is the strongest predictor of semen volume discussed in the episode, with hydration also potentially contributing. Force of ejaculation can decline with age and may change how the volume appears, even when the underlying issue is muscular propulsion rather than sperm production.

  • Semen volume describes fluid amount; sperm concentration describes sperm within that fluid
  • Malik says a longer interval since ejaculation generally increases semen volume
  • Hydration may affect fluid volume
  • Reduced ejaculation force can make the amount seem lower
  • Pelvic-floor contractions contribute to propelling ejaculate

Not volume, but concentration.

Dr. Rena Malik · 41:00

the longer you delay between one ejaculation to the other, the more semen volume you will get.

Dr. Rena Malik · 42:00
#semen#sperm#ejaculation#fertility
Explainer59:30

The 21-ejaculations prostate finding is an association, not a prescription

Malik describes an observational study in which men reporting at least 21 ejaculations per month were less likely to develop prostate cancer. She offers the prostate-stagnation hypothesis as one possible mechanism but does not present it as proven. She also emphasizes that healthier men may simply be more able to ejaculate frequently and that statistical adjustment cannot remove every unmeasured variable.

  • The study found an association between at least 21 monthly ejaculations and lower prostate-cancer incidence
  • Twenty-one is the study's statistical category, not a required target
  • The prostate-stagnation explanation is a hypothesis
  • Underlying health and relationship factors may partly explain the association
  • The episode does not establish ejaculation as a prostate-cancer prevention treatment

men who ejaculated 21 times or more a month were less likely to develop prostate cancer.

Dr. Rena Malik · 1:00:00

there's always sort of uncontrollable variables

Dr. Rena Malik · 1:01:00
#prostate cancer#ejaculation#masturbation#research
Explainer1:02:00

When pornography shifts from entertainment to a harmful cycle

Malik does not label adult pornography inherently bad, but separates ordinary entertainment use from a pattern that replaces relationships, avoids rejection, or becomes a default response to feeling low. She describes a cycle in which distress prompts pornography for a rewarding feeling, shame follows, and the renewed distress triggers more use. She treats children's exposure as a distinct concern because young viewers may not understand that pornography is staged entertainment rather than a model of real sex.

  • Malik treats the moral question as individual rather than medical fact
  • Adult use can be recreational without becoming problematic
  • Avoiding rejection and awkward real encounters can reinforce heavier use
  • Distress, use, shame, and renewed distress can form a self-reinforcing cycle
  • Children's exposure is treated separately because their brains and sexual understanding are still developing

I don't think porn is a bad thing.

Dr. Rena Malik · 1:02:30

it becomes a sort of like negative vicious cycle

Dr. Rena Malik · 1:05:30
#pornography#dopamine#shame#children#behavior
Explainer1:10:00

How unresolved trauma can show up in pelvic-floor symptoms

Malik says trauma can contribute to an overly tense pelvic floor and sexual dysfunction, while carefully noting that not everyone with pelvic-floor problems has a trauma history. Stress and anxiety can also contribute, and physical symptoms can have organic causes. She recommends therapy for unresolved trauma and argues that sexual dysfunction often acquires a psychological burden even when it begins with a physical condition.

  • Trauma is presented as one possible contributor to excessive pelvic-floor tension
  • Malik explicitly says the link does not apply to every patient
  • Stress and anxiety may produce similar tension patterns
  • Physical and psychological components can coexist
  • Qualified therapy and medical assessment address different parts of the problem

Not all of them. Some of it's just stress and anxiety

Dr. Rena Malik · 1:10:30

if you have trauma, getting therapy, getting help to resolve that trauma is so so important.

Dr. Rena Malik · 1:11:00
#trauma#pelvic floor#sexual dysfunction#therapy
Explainer1:13:30

Why clitoral stimulation is the most reliable route to orgasm

Malik explains that the visible clitoris is only part of an organ that extends into the pelvis and around the vaginal canal. She says about 85% of women need some form of clitoral stimulation to climax and that difficulty reaching orgasm from penetration alone does not mean anything is broken. The effective form of stimulation varies by person, making direct communication more useful than a universal technique.

  • The clitoris develops from the same embryonic structure as the penis
  • Its anatomy extends beyond the externally visible portion
  • Malik cites about 85% of women needing some form of clitoral stimulation to climax
  • Penetration alone is not the most reliable route for many women
  • Oral, vibratory, and manual stimulation may work, but preferences differ

85% of women need some form of clitoral stimulation to climax.

Dr. Rena Malik · 1:14:30

how you stimulate it is sort of very individually specific.

Dr. Rena Malik · 1:15:00
#clitoris#orgasm#anatomy#pleasure
Explainer1:17:00

The orgasm timing gap explains why penetration-centered sex fails

Malik cites stopwatch studies in which ejaculation after penetration averaged about 5.1 to 5.7 minutes, while women's average time to orgasm was about 14 minutes. If the encounter is organized around the male climax and ends there, the timing and stimulation available are often insufficient for the female partner. The figures describe averages, not targets, and Malik repeatedly emphasizes mutual quality over hitting a benchmark.

  • The male timing figure begins at penetration and excludes foreplay
  • Malik cites about 5.1-5.7 minutes to male climax in multinational studies
  • She cites about 14 minutes as the average time to orgasm for women
  • Prioritizing clitoral stimulation before or alongside penetration can address the mismatch
  • Neither average defines how long a particular encounter should last

it's about 5.1 to 5.7 minutes.

Dr. Rena Malik · 1:17:30

the average time to orgasm for woman, it's about 14 minutes.

Dr. Rena Malik · 1:18:00
#orgasm gap#sexual timing#penetration#pleasure
Explainer1:47:00

Female ejaculation and squirting are different, and the science is thin

Malik distinguishes vaginal lubrication, a small amount of female ejaculate from the Skene's glands, and the larger clear fluid commonly called squirting. She says only a few studies have examined the subject and that analyses have found both prostate-specific antigen and dilute urine, leaving the fluid's source and composition unresolved. Her conclusion is uncertainty rather than a definitive claim about whether squirting is urine.

  • Lubrication is separate from female ejaculate and squirting
  • Female ejaculate is described as a small amount from the Skene's glands
  • Squirting is described as a larger clear fluid emitted through the urethra
  • Studies discussed found markers including prostate-specific antigen and dilute urine
  • Malik says the available studies do not provide a conclusive answer

there's only been like three or four studies looking at female ejaculation and squirting

Dr. Rena Malik · 1:48:00

I think the jury remains out.

Dr. Rena Malik · 1:50:00
#squirting#female ejaculation#sexual anatomy#research