The 10x Rule And The Drip
Never ask until you have given ten times over, then drip proof-of-impact back until they feel invested in you.
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~months to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 95%
Sanchez runs two linked mechanics for building relationships with people far above her. The first is the 10x rule: never ask for something unless you have already given ten times that much to the person, and never expect anything in return for a gift given. The second is the drip, which is how she converts a stranger into someone who feels invested in her success. She asks one narrow, specific question that costs a single sentence to answer, explicitly releases them from replying further, then comes back weeks later purely to report what she did with the answer and the impact it had — again releasing them. No ask. Repeated maybe twenty times over two years, the accumulated signal is not that she wants something but that this person's marginal effort produces disproportionate results. Her broader observation is that follow-through is astonishingly rare: when she gives someone a book and asks them to come back with questions, roughly five people ever have.
Origin
Sanchez had many people she thought of as mentors who never knew they were her mentors. She deliberately avoided famous people and targeted normal high-powered executives in finance. She describes running the pattern for years on a senior executive at State Street, who eventually said at dinner in New York that he did not really know her but felt invested in her success. She replied that she knew — because she had been dripping on him for two years.
Core principles
- 01Give 10x before you ask for anything.
- 02Never expect something in return for a gift given.
- 03Ask questions small enough to answer in one sentence.
- 04Always release the other person from replying — 'no need to respond further'.
- 05Report back what their input actually produced; impact is the gift.
- 06Follow-through is worth its weight in gold precisely because almost nobody does it.
How to run it
- 1
Pick unfamous, high-competence targets
Sanchez deliberately did not go to famous people. She went to reasonably high-powered executives in finance — people with real knowledge and no siege on their inbox.
Pro tip They will never know they are your mentor. That is fine; it is the point.
Watch out A famous target's reply rate is so low that the drip never starts.
- 2
Send a one-sentence-answerable question
Reference something specific they actually did — a deal, a decision — and ask why they chose it. Explicitly say a one-sentence reply would be amazing. Sanchez says roughly one in ten replies.
Pro tip Specificity proves you did the work and shrinks the cost of answering to near zero.
Watch out A broad 'can I pick your brain' request is an unbounded ask and reads as a request for their time, not their view.
- 3
Close the loop and release them
Thank them, say no need to respond further, and state that you are going to go implement it. The release is doing real work: it removes any obligation, which is what makes the next message welcome.
Pro tip 'No need to reply' is the line that converts an interaction from a transaction into a gift.
Watch out Any ask attached here resets the whole ledger.
- 4
Come back weeks later with the impact
Return in a couple of weeks purely to report what you did with their information and what it produced. Again, no need to reply — just letting them know they made an impact. Repeat, in Sanchez's case perhaps twenty times over two years.
Pro tip Most people never get to feel that a tiny action of theirs materially changed someone's life. That feeling is the compounding asset.
Watch out Skipping this step wastes the reply entirely; the answer was never the point.
- 5
Only now make the ask
After years of the drip, Sanchez pinged the State Street executive when they were both in New York and offered to take him to dinner to talk about a few things. By then the relationship, not the request, was doing the work.
Pro tip Her 10x rule tells you when the ledger is ready — when you have given ten times what you are about to ask for.
Watch out Asking before the ledger is positive collapses everything you have built into a transaction.
In the wild
Sanchez ran the pattern on a senior executive at State Street for around two years — a tiny question, one sentence of advice, thank you, here is how I implemented it, again and again, maybe twenty times. Then she was in New York, he was in New York, and she asked him to dinner.
→ He sat down and said it was the weirdest thing: he did not really know her, but he felt invested in her success. Sanchez told him she knew, because she had been dripping on him for two years.
When people reach out offering to do things for Sanchez, she gives them a random book and asks them to come back with a few questions or thoughts.
→ She estimates around five people have ever come back. Follow-through is so rare that simply doing it is a differentiator.
Common mistakes
Expecting return on a gift
Sanchez says you never want to expect something for a gift given. The moment an expectation is attached, the gift becomes an invoice and the relationship becomes a negotiation.
Asking before you have given
Her explicit rule is never to ask for something unless she has given 10x to that person. Most outreach inverts this and opens with the ask.
Getting the reply and never following up
The reply is not the prize — the reported impact is. Sanchez says follow-through is worth its weight in gold and that almost nobody does it, which is precisely why it works.
Is it for you?
Best for
Anyone trying to build genuine relationships with senior operators from a standing start, especially where a direct ask would be ignored.
Not ideal for
Situations that need an answer this quarter — the drip is measured in years.
From the transcript
“you never want to expect something for a gift given I call it the 10x rule so I try to never ask for something unless…”
“if you want something follow through is worth its weight in gold”
“I don't really know you but I feel invested in your success”
From the episode
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