ARA: Accept, Remove, Adapt
Clear unwanted emotion before choosing the next response
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 99%
ARA is Williams's three-stage response to adversity: accept, remove, adapt. Accept means acknowledging what has happened without spending the immediate decision window on blame, denial, or bitterness. Remove means temporarily setting aside the unwanted emotion that would cloud the next action; Williams explicitly distinguishes this from becoming emotionless or bottling feelings indefinitely. Adapt means reassessing the changed situation, replacing missing roles, and choosing what now needs to happen. His military examples involve continuing an operation after casualties and reallocating specialist work, while his business example involves responding after pandemic restrictions removed most of his coaching work. The framework is designed for immediate clarity. Deferred grief, anger, or distress still needs to be handled properly once the urgent task is stable.
Origin
Williams says he created the ARA acronym while trying to explain the response pattern he had used during combat losses and later business adversity.
Core principles
- 01Acknowledge the situation that already exists
- 02Separate immediate decisions from emotion that obstructs them
- 03Removing emotion temporarily is not denying or bottling it
- 04Adapt roles and actions to the changed reality
- 05Return to the deferred emotion when the immediate task is safe
How to run it
- 1
Accept the reality
State what has happened or is happening and distinguish it from what you wish had happened. Suspend blame long enough to understand the current facts.
Pro tip Ask, 'Given that this has happened, what is true now?'
Watch out Acceptance does not mean approving wrongdoing or abandoning later accountability.
- 2
Remove unwanted emotion
Identify the anger, sadness, panic, or bitterness that is obstructing the immediate decision and set it aside temporarily. Keep a deliberate commitment to revisit it safely later.
Pro tip Name the emotion and the later time or support through which you will address it.
Watch out Temporary removal must not become chronic suppression or avoidance.
- 3
Adapt the response
Reassess the objective, available people, resources, and constraints. Change roles or actions to fit the situation that now exists.
Pro tip Ask which function is missing, not only which person or plan has been lost.
- 4
Return and process
Once the immediate task is stable, address the deferred emotional impact and any accountability required. Seek appropriate support where the event is traumatic or overwhelming.
Watch out The transcript does not present ARA as a replacement for trauma treatment or mental-health care.
In the wild
Williams describes a mortar specialist being injured during an operation. Rather than stopping at the loss of that capability, the unit accepted the changed situation, focused on the operational need, and adapted by having commander Vicey call in mortar fire despite not being the usual specialist.
→ The unit restored a necessary function after the person assigned to it was unavailable.
Williams says pandemic restrictions removed most of his speaking, coaching, and workshop work overnight. He allowed himself roughly half a day of shock, then shifted from anger and blame toward deciding what the business could still do.
→ The disruption became a decision problem rather than an indefinite period of blame.
Common mistakes
Confusing acceptance with approval
Acknowledging reality for the next decision does not excuse harm or remove the need for later accountability.
Bottling the emotion permanently
Williams says unwanted emotion is deferred for the immediate task and should be dealt with properly later.
Adapting before seeing the facts
A new plan built on denial or blame may respond to the old situation rather than the one that now exists.
Is it for you?
Best for
Time-sensitive disruptions where a clear next action is required before the full emotional response can be addressed.
Not ideal for
Situations where emotion signals immediate danger, abuse, medical need, or a reason to stop rather than continue.
From the transcript
“ARA simply stands for accept, remove, adapt.”
“remove emotion is not become emotionless”
“What's the bit that's going to get in your way?”
From the episode
Suicidal Drug Addict To Elite Military Commando with Ben Williams