Deathbed Thinking
Use imagined final regret to test what deserves time now
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 96%
Steven Bartlett names 'deathbed thinking' as a way to evaluate present priorities from an imagined final perspective. The person asks what they would regret if only days remained, identifies the relationships or experiences that suddenly become important, and compares those answers with current behaviour. In the conversation, Krissy says she would regret working without living, while Steven names neglected family relationships. The mechanism uses compressed time to remove status concerns and reveal value conflicts, then converts that clarity into a calendar change or direct act of connection. Steven refers to work attributed to Bronnie Ware but does not establish its research quality in the episode, so the framework rests here on the reflective question and the speakers' personal responses rather than on a verified scientific claim.
Origin
Steven Bartlett introduced the name 'deathbed thinking' while asking Krissy Cela what she would regret if she had only a week left. Both used the question to identify ways work had displaced relationships or experiences they valued.
Core principles
- 01A distant deadline can hide the cost of today's priorities
- 02Imagined final regret can expose a gap between values and behaviour
- 03Time allocations reveal priorities more reliably than stated intentions
- 04The test should lead to a concrete present action
- 05Mortality reflection is a decision aid, not a prediction
How to run it
- 1
Compress the horizon
Imagine that only a few days or weeks remain and ask what would matter under that constraint.
Pro tip Use a short enough horizon that habitual postponement no longer feels plausible.
Watch out Stop if the exercise causes significant distress.
- 2
Name the regrets
List the people, experiences, or neglected parts of life you would most regret missing. Keep the answers specific.
Pro tip Distinguish personal regret from what other people say you should value.
- 3
Audit the calendar
Compare the list with how your time and attention have actually been allocated in recent weeks.
Pro tip Look for repeated absence, not one unusually busy day.
- 4
Choose one correction
Select a realistic action that moves time toward a neglected priority, such as making contact or protecting a period away from work.
Pro tip Put the action on the calendar before returning to routine.
Watch out Reflection without a behavioural change can become another form of avoidance.
- 5
Review the tradeoff
Revisit the question periodically and check whether work, status, or urgency has again displaced what you said mattered.
Watch out The method cannot eliminate every real constraint or competing responsibility.
In the wild
When Steven asks what she would regret if she were going to die a week later, Krissy answers that she would regret working without living. She names museums, travel, and time away from her phone as experiences she values but often treats as wasteful because work feels urgent.
→ The question exposes a direct conflict between her stated values and current allocation of time.
Steven applies the same question to himself and names relationships with his mother, brother, and nieces as areas he would regret neglecting. He contrasts their importance with how rarely he makes the trip to see them.
→ The exercise converts a general concern about balance into identifiable relationships and missed actions.
Common mistakes
Stopping at emotional clarity
A powerful answer changes little if it never alters a call, visit, boundary, or calendar commitment.
Using someone else's regrets
The test should reveal the person's own values rather than impose a universal life script.
Treating the prompt as research proof
The episode mentions palliative-care stories but does not verify them as scientific evidence for the method.
Is it for you?
Best for
It is best for busy people who repeatedly postpone relationships, rest, or meaningful experiences despite claiming they are important.
Not ideal for
It is not ideal for people whom mortality reflection could destabilize; they should use a gentler values review or seek appropriate support.
From the transcript
“not living just working”
“deathbed thinking allows you to look at how you're living your life now”
“you have to take a step back and you have to realize what matters in life”
From the episode
How She Built Her Confidence, and Then an Empire with Krissy Cela