Deepest-Pain Customer Avatar
Choose one customer and solve the problem that keeps them awake
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 96%
Brunson's approach begins by rejecting the idea that a business can serve everyone. Select a narrow customer avatar, then look beneath broad wants for the pain that feels most urgent—the problem the customer thinks about at night and may regard as a last chance. Check whether existing providers neglect that group or fail to address the specific difficulty. The founder also needs a genuine connection to the customer and enough passion for the problem to persist through the time and experimentation required to improve the offer. Brunson applied this logic to matchmaking by focusing first on highly educated Black women in the Washington, DC, Maryland, and Virginia area who were being underserved. The mechanism links specificity, urgency, service gaps, and founder commitment to a focused first offer.
Origin
Brunson connects the method to launching his matchmaking company. He chose a customer group he knew personally and believed existing matchmakers were not serving: Black women in the Washington, DC, Maryland, and Virginia area.
Core principles
- 01A business cannot serve everyone equally well
- 02Specific customers reveal specific unmet needs
- 03The strongest problem is the one the customer feels urgently
- 04Founder familiarity can sustain the work needed to solve it
How to run it
- 1
Narrow the avatar
Define an initial customer group precisely enough to understand its circumstances. Avoid beginning with a market as broad as everyone seeking a relationship.
Pro tip Use geography, life stage, needs, and service history to make the group concrete.
Watch out A demographic label alone does not establish a shared problem.
- 2
Find the deepest pain
Ask what the customer worries about at night and what makes the situation feel urgent or hopeless. Distinguish that pain from a superficial preference.
Pro tip Look for the emotional consequence behind the requested service.
Watch out Do not exploit fear or intensify distress to manufacture urgency.
- 3
Verify the service gap
Examine whether current providers serve this group and address the identified pain. Use direct customer evidence rather than assuming neglect.
Pro tip Interview people in the avatar before finalizing the offer.
Watch out Brunson's market observation is evidence from his experience, not proof that every market has the same gap.
- 4
Test founder commitment
Decide whether you understand and care about this customer's situation enough to keep learning when the first solution is incomplete.
Pro tip Personal familiarity can help, but it should not replace customer research.
- 5
Build for the pain
Shape the first offer around the specific unresolved problem, then improve it through customer response and practical experimentation.
Pro tip Keep the first offer narrow enough that customers can tell whom it is for.
Watch out Do not claim outcomes the service cannot responsibly deliver.
In the wild
Brunson says his first avatar was Black women in the Washington, DC, Maryland, and Virginia area. He describes many as highly educated and professionally successful, yet underserved by matchmakers. He also knew this customer through women in his own family, which strengthened his commitment to addressing the problem.
→ The defined avatar gave his matchmaking business a specific first customer and pain point to serve.
Common mistakes
Trying to serve everyone
A universal target makes it difficult to understand one customer's circumstances or design a distinctive offer.
Solving the surface request
A requested service may conceal a deeper fear, frustration, or feeling of hopelessness that actually drives action.
Assuming passion proves demand
Founder commitment supports persistence, but the service gap and customer need still require direct evidence.
Is it for you?
Best for
Founders choosing an initial market and offer for a service business.
Not ideal for
Teams that have not yet gathered direct evidence from the customer group they intend to serve.
From the transcript
“you can't serve everyone”
“look for the deepest pain point within that particular avatar”
From the episode
World’s No.1 Matchmaker: How To FIND And KEEP Real Love!: Paul Brunson