Get to the Gate
Turn a distant ambition into the next courageous step
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 88%
Get to the Gate separates beginning a difficult journey from already being the finished version of yourself. First identify something you genuinely want, then define the concrete gate that marks entry into the process. Use a relatable person who is only a little farther ahead as evidence that the first move is possible. Close the distance through small actions rather than demanding an overnight transformation. Williams distinguishes the critic in the stands from the person willing to reach the start line. In his account, a Royal Marines advert reconnected him with a childhood ambition, a friend in training made the route feel real, and incremental fitness and application steps got him to camp. The framework supports action; it is not a substitute for professional crisis care.
Origin
Williams developed the idea from his own effort to reach Royal Marines training and later from watching recruits arrive at the Commando Training Centre with difficult personal histories.
Core principles
- 01Name something you genuinely want
- 02Treat reaching the start line as progress
- 03Use relatable examples to make change feel possible
- 04Close a large gap through small steps
How to run it
- 1
Recover the want
Identify the ambition or direction that still matters beneath avoidance, discouragement, or other people's expectations. State it as something you want rather than something you think you should want.
Pro tip Look for a childhood ambition or recurring desire that has never fully disappeared.
Watch out If you are at immediate risk of harming yourself, seek emergency or qualified support rather than relying on a self-help process.
- 2
Define the gate
Specify the first real threshold: an application, conversation, trial, appointment, or start date. Do not confuse reaching that threshold with completing the entire journey.
- 3
Find a nearby example
Look for someone from a recognisable background who is only a few steps ahead. Ask how they entered the process and use their progress to make your own next move more tangible.
Pro tip A peer partway through the journey may be more useful than a polished expert at the end.
- 4
Close the gap
Take the smallest action that moves you toward the gate, then take another. Let repeated actions build the courage that a distant leap appears to require.
Pro tip Measure progress by distance closed, not by whether you already resemble the finished role model.
- 5
Stand on the start line
Complete the entry action and begin the real process. Treat arrival at the gate as evidence of agency while accepting that the harder training may still be ahead.
In the wild
Williams says a Royal Marines advert reawakened an ambition he had held since childhood. A friend already in training told him to try, giving him a relatable example. Williams then began running, improved his daily habits, completed the application process, passed the potential Royal Marines course despite illness, and eventually arrived at the training centre.
→ He reached the start line for the career he had previously believed was slipping away.
Common mistakes
Comparing yourself with the finished product
A polished expert can make the gap feel impossible; a relatable person partway through the process can reveal the next step.
Demanding an overnight transformation
Treating the whole journey as one leap hides the smaller actions that actually close the distance.
Is it for you?
Best for
People who can identify a desired direction but feel overwhelmed by the gap between their present situation and the starting line.
Not ideal for
An acute mental-health crisis, addiction emergency, or unsafe situation that requires qualified and immediate support.
From the transcript
“everyone has to get themselves to the gate”
“It takes steps. It takes baby steps and people think it's overnight.”
“Come and do it. Come and give it a go. You've got this.”
From the episode
Suicidal Drug Addict To Elite Military Commando with Ben Williams