The Hard-Thing Test
Use discomfort as a prompt to inspect the choice you may be avoiding
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 96%
James Sexton repeatedly offers a simple decision prompt: ask what the hard thing is, because it may also be the right thing. The value is not that difficulty proves moral correctness. Instead, discomfort can reveal the conversation, acknowledgment, or action that avoidance is hiding. After naming that option, test it against safety, honesty, and likely consequences. Then take a direct, proportionate step rather than waiting for pressure or resentment to make the choice for you. In relationships, Sexton applies the rule to checking whether the couple is okay, naming a change, or discussing an ending before silence turns a manageable concern into a larger rupture.
Origin
Extracted from The Diary of a CEO
Core principles
- 01The avoided option may contain the necessary action
- 02Discomfort is a prompt for examination, not proof of correctness
- 03Hard conversations are often easier before resentment accumulates
- 04Safety and ethics still outrank difficulty
How to run it
- 1
Name the avoided issue
State the decision, concern, or conversation you keep postponing. Describe it without blaming another person.
Pro tip Write one sentence beginning with, ‘The thing I do not want to face is…’
- 2
Identify the hard action
Ask what the uncomfortable but direct response would be if you stopped optimizing for immediate relief.
Watch out Difficulty alone does not make an action wise or ethical.
- 3
Run the safety test
Check whether the action is honest, proportionate, constructive, and safe for everyone involved.
Pro tip Distinguish emotional awkwardness from credible risk of harm.
Watch out Use appropriate professional or safety support where abuse, coercion, or legal risk is involved.
- 4
Act directly
Take the smallest action that genuinely addresses the issue rather than performing another delay.
Pro tip A clear question can be enough to begin.
- 5
Review what changed
Assess whether the action created clarity, repair, or a better next decision. Revise rather than defending a poor choice merely because it was difficult.
In the wild
Near the end of the interview, Sexton applies the test to a partner who senses distance. The harder response is to ask whether the relationship is okay and name the concern, rather than staying silent because the answer may be uncomfortable.
→ The concern enters the relationship while it can still be examined rather than silently accumulating.
Common mistakes
Equating pain with virtue
Some hard actions are harmful or pointless; difficulty is only a prompt to investigate.
Using bluntness as honesty
A necessary conversation can still be careful, proportionate, and respectful.
Is it for you?
Best for
People delaying an honest conversation or necessary decision because it feels uncomfortable.
Not ideal for
Situations where the hardest option is unsafe, punitive, reckless, or unsupported by evidence.
From the transcript
“What is the hard thing to do in this situation because that's probably the right thing to do.”
“If that's harder, do that. Lean into that.”
From the episode
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