TThe Diary of a CEO
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Strategy

The Premium Effect

Change your social setting to widen who notices and values you

Difficulty
Easy
Time to result
~weeks to results
Steps
4
Confidence
94%

The Premium Effect changes the environment rather than merely increasing the number of dates. Start with an authentic interest, then pursue it in a community outside your usual demographic or geographic sphere. In that setting, characteristics that felt ordinary in your normal circle may be unusual enough to prompt curiosity and conversation. The shared interest supplies a legitimate reason to connect, while the changed social context broadens both romantic and platonic possibilities. The mechanism is not that everyone in the new room will welcome you; Paul Brunson explicitly distinguishes closed-minded reactions from open-minded people who lean in. The useful outcome is a more diverse network and a break from repeatedly dating the same type of person.

Origin

Paul Brunson named and illustrated the Premium Effect while discussing a client who loved art but kept dating within the same North London social sphere. Extracted from The Diary of a CEO.

Core principles

  • 01Repeated settings tend to produce repeated choices
  • 02Shared interests can bridge demographic differences
  • 03Rarity in a new setting can invite curiosity
  • 04Open-minded engagement matters more than universal approval

How to run it

  1. 1

    Map the repeated pattern

    Notice whether your dates keep coming from the same places and carry similar characteristics. Define the social sphere that is constraining your options.

    Pro tip Look for repetition in setting and network, not only physical type.

  2. 2

    Choose a real interest

    Select an activity, subject, or cause you genuinely value. This gives you common ground in the new environment.

    Pro tip Use an existing interest so your participation is authentic.

    Watch out Do not enter a community solely to target a demographic.

  3. 3

    Move outside your sphere

    Attend a relevant venue or event where the surrounding social mix differs from your usual one. Let the different context make new interactions possible.

    Watch out Expect that not everyone will respond with curiosity.

  4. 4

    Follow open-minded curiosity

    Talk with people who lean in and ask why you are there. Allow romantic prospects, friendships, and wider introductions to emerge without forcing one outcome.

    Pro tip Treat a broader network as a valuable result in itself.

In the wild

An art lover changes her social setting

Brunson described a white woman in her mid-thirties from North London who loved art and felt stuck dating the same kind of men. He suggested an exhibition at the Black Cultural Archives in Brixton. She would remain connected to the room through art while meeting people from a different cultural and social network, where her presence could prompt curiosity among open-minded attendees.

Her potential network expanded beyond her usual dating sphere into new romantic and platonic connections.

Common mistakes

Increasing volume in the same pool

More dates do not broaden your options if every date comes from the same narrow social environment.

Treating difference as a tactic

Entering a community only to exploit rarity undermines the authentic shared interest that makes the method work.

Is it for you?

Best for

It is best for people whose dates repeatedly share the same background, traits, or social context.

Not ideal for

It is not ideal for anyone treating another community as an exotic shortcut rather than a place for respectful participation.

From the transcript

I call this the premium effect.

Paul Brunson · 14:00

It's important for you to step outside of your sphere.

Paul Brunson · 16:00

From the episode

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