Replace, Don't Suppress
Give the cue a positive alternative instead of rehearsing what to avoid.
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 98%
Replace, Don't Suppress converts a negative instruction into a specific alternative action. The host argues that repeatedly telling yourself not to perform a behavior keeps that behavior mentally prominent and may contribute to rebound. Instead, identify the cue, choose a safer routine that can happen at the same moment, prepare it in advance, and repeat it whenever the cue appears. His examples include chewing gum when a cigarette craving arises, using lollipops in place of cigars, and stocking cold water or seltzer for a habitual evening glass of wine. The replacement does not need to reproduce the original reward perfectly, but it must be concrete enough to guide action. The transcript cites studies on suppression and rebound, yet this framework should be treated as a practical self-management method rather than a universal clinical claim about addiction or appetite.
Origin
Extracted from The Diary of a CEO
Core principles
- 01A prohibition keeps attention on the behavior being resisted.
- 02A positive action gives the cue somewhere else to lead.
- 03The replacement should fit the same moment and context.
- 04Repetition is required before the alternative becomes familiar.
How to run it
- 1
Identify the trigger moment
Define the cue and the exact point where the unwanted routine usually begins.
Pro tip Use a time-and-place statement such as ‘at 5 p.m. when I open the fridge.’
Watch out Different triggers may need different replacements.
- 2
Choose a positive action
Describe what you will do rather than what you will avoid. Make the action compatible with the same context.
Pro tip Choose something that can begin immediately when the cue appears.
Watch out A replacement that is unavailable or unpleasant will be hard to repeat.
- 3
Prepare the substitute
Place the required item or setup where the old routine normally starts.
Pro tip Remove the old item while installing the new one.
Watch out Preparation does not guarantee that cravings or urges will disappear.
- 4
Repeat under the cue
Perform the alternative consistently when the familiar trigger occurs, including after imperfect attempts.
Pro tip Track repetitions rather than demanding immediate absence of desire.
Watch out One successful substitution is not a stable habit.
- 5
Adjust the reward
If the alternative does not meet any relevant need, choose a safer option with a more workable immediate payoff.
Pro tip Ask what relief, sensation, or ritual the old routine supplied.
Watch out Do not replace one dangerous or compulsive behavior with another.
In the wild
The host quotes Elliot Berkman proposing a positive instruction: chew gum whenever you want a cigarette. The cue remains visible, but the instruction directs attention toward an action rather than repeating the word ‘smoke’ inside a prohibition.
→ The person has a concrete response to perform at the moment of the urge.
For a routine associated with a 5 p.m. glass of wine, the host suggests stocking the refrigerator with cold water, lemon, or seltzer rather than leaving only an empty prohibition.
→ A prepared alternative can occupy the familiar ritual and time slot.
Common mistakes
Using only a negative command
‘Do not do it’ supplies no action for the cue to initiate and keeps the unwanted behavior central.
Choosing a mismatched substitute
An alternative that cannot happen in the same context will not reliably interrupt the routine.
Expecting the urge to vanish
The framework redirects behavior; it does not promise immediate removal of craving or dependence.
Is it for you?
Best for
Everyday habits with a clear trigger and a practical, lower-risk action that can occupy the same moment.
Not ideal for
Substance dependence, eating disorders, or compulsive behavior requiring clinical support rather than substitution alone.
From the transcript
“don't focus on stopping smoking. Focus on the behavior you want to replace it with.”
“your brain has a more positive actionorientated goal to focus on.”
From the episode
5 Scientific Rules for Making & Breaking Habits!