The Sex Life Bucket List
Compare interests privately, then begin with the strongest mutual yes
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 99%
Bratton's Sex Life Bucket List turns a broad conversation about sexual interests into a simple A-B-C sorting exercise. Each partner reviews the same set of ideas and labels definite interests A, possible but lower-priority interests B, and things that are not for them now C. They then compare lists and begin with shared A items rather than arguing over mismatches. The mechanism is reduced ambiguity: a menu supplies language, separate scoring reduces on-the-spot pressure, and the overlap creates an actionable next date. Bratton also says interests can evolve with experience, but that observation should not be used to challenge a current boundary. The list is a conversation aid, not blanket consent. Every selected activity still requires present, specific agreement and can be changed or stopped.
Origin
Bratton says she assembled 48 ideas into a printable list and video so partners could classify their interests and identify shared starting points.
Core principles
- 01A structured menu can make desires easier to discuss
- 02Enthusiastic overlap is the best starting point
- 03Interest can change over time without invalidating a current no
- 04Education can reduce fear but never overrides consent
- 05Partners can meet at the least pressured mutual option
How to run it
- 1
Choose a shared menu
Use the same bounded list of possible activities so both partners are responding to identical prompts. Agree that the exercise is exploratory and creates no obligation.
Pro tip Review unfamiliar terms together before rating them.
Watch out Do not include illegal, unsafe, or non-consensual activities.
- 2
Score separately
Mark definite interests A, possibilities B, and current non-interests C. Answer from present preference rather than what a partner may want to hear.
Pro tip Allow an unsure category if forcing A, B, or C would distort the answer.
Watch out A private rating is not consent to perform the activity.
- 3
Compare without judgment
Share the lists and notice overlap, differences, and questions. Do not mock, diagnose, or demand explanations for a preference.
Pro tip Thank each other for honest answers before discussing logistics.
Watch out Repeated persuasion after a no turns exploration into pressure.
- 4
Select the strongest overlap
Choose one shared A item, or a low-pressure shared B if both people actively want it. Define boundaries, sexual-health precautions, and a way to stop.
Pro tip Begin with the least complicated mutual yes.
Watch out Do not treat compromise as requiring either person to endure an unwanted act.
- 5
Review and update
After the experience, discuss what each person liked and whether any rating changed. Revisit the wider list only by mutual agreement.
Pro tip Keep current answers dated so changes are understood as normal development.
Watch out Past interest never removes the need for current consent.
In the wild
One partner is not currently interested in a proposed toy, so the couple separately sorts a wider menu. They discover that both strongly want a massage-focused date and choose that instead of continuing the argument.
→ The conversation moves from one rejected idea to a mutually appealing experiment without overriding the boundary.
Common mistakes
Treating B as reluctant consent
A possible interest still requires active agreement when planning and again in the moment.
Debating the C list
The exercise loses safety when a current non-interest becomes an invitation to persuade.
Starting with the hardest mismatch
Bratton recommends meeting at shared interests rather than using the list to force compatibility on a disputed item.
Is it for you?
Best for
It is best for consenting partners who want to discover mutually appealing ideas without forcing an immediate answer in conversation.
Not ideal for
It is not a consent shortcut, a compatibility test, or a tool for repeatedly pressuring someone about a current no.
From the transcript
“these are my A's. I definitely want to do a lingerie photo shoot with you”
“C's are it's not for me right now”
“let's just start with your A's”
From the episode
Orgasm Queen: Do This For 20 Minutes Before Having Sex & Have Sex With Them Like When You First Met! I Never Orgasmed Until He Tried This!