Shared Inquiry Interview Method
Replace confrontation with researched curiosity that makes candour safer
- Difficulty
- Advanced
- Time to result
- ~months to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 97%
The method combines preparation with a posture of shared inquiry. Research the subject thoroughly, but enter the conversation wanting to understand rather than to score a victory. Ask the questions that genuinely puzzle you, including direct questions about harmful or self-sabotaging behaviour, while resisting the urge to berate the person. Maintain enough humility to consider that they may see something you do not, without suspending judgment when a claim is plainly wrong. The mechanism is interpersonal: curiosity and non-hostility reduce defensive pressure, which gives the other person room to explain their internal logic. Theroux argues that visibly trying to wrest intimacy from someone works against disclosure; the interviewer instead creates conditions in which the person can choose to open up.
Origin
Extracted from The Diary of a CEO
Core principles
- 01Curiosity reveals more than reflexive anger
- 02Research and openness can coexist
- 03Humility keeps the exchange exploratory
- 04People resist attempts to extract intimacy
- 05Understanding is not the same as agreement
How to run it
- 1
Prepare the factual ground
Research the person's history, stated beliefs, and relevant context before the conversation. Use preparation to ask informed questions rather than to script a takedown.
Pro tip List the points you still cannot explain after doing the research.
Watch out Preparation does not guarantee that the subject will answer truthfully.
- 2
Locate genuine curiosity
Define what you sincerely want to understand about why the person acts or believes as they do.
Pro tip Turn moral disbelief into a specific question about motives, experiences, or perceived benefits.
Watch out Curiosity should not be used to disguise a predetermined accusation.
- 3
Adopt shared inquiry
Approach the exchange as an attempt to see what is happening, not as a contest you must win.
Pro tip Hold open the possibility that the other person understands part of the situation better than you do.
Watch out Humility does not require treating every claim as equally credible.
- 4
Ask without berating
Put difficult questions plainly while keeping anger and humiliation from becoming the dominant signal.
Pro tip Follow the answer's logic before moving to your next prepared question.
Watch out Avoiding beratement does not mean avoiding accountability or challenge.
- 5
Let disclosure remain voluntary
Create enough time and psychological space for the person to explain themselves instead of pressing for an intimate revelation on demand.
Pro tip Use attentive silence when the person is deciding whether to continue.
Watch out Visible attempts to extract intimacy can cause the person to retreat.
In the wild
Theroux says people often ask how he avoids becoming angry with interviewees who express hate or religious intolerance. He describes his default response as curiosity about what brought them to that position, rather than a desire to berate them or get one over on them. He still allows for recognizing that something an interviewee says is wrong.
→ The posture supports a more revealing account of the person's motives and worldview without implying endorsement.
Common mistakes
Entering to win
A plan to defeat the subject turns inquiry into a contest and makes guarded answers more likely.
Confusing understanding with approval
Exploring a person's internal logic does not require accepting harmful conduct or unsupported claims.
Forcing the intimate moment
Pressure that feels extractive can close the very space needed for voluntary candour.
Is it for you?
Best for
Interviewers and facilitators seeking candid explanations from people whose lives or beliefs are difficult to understand.
Not ideal for
Situations requiring immediate fact correction, formal cross-examination, or intervention against imminent harm.
From the transcript
“I'm just so curious about what takes someone to that place.”
“if you feel as though you're coming from a position of sort of shared inquiry, then that's contagious”
“You just create the space and the sense of understanding”
From the episode
Louis Theroux: "The Thing That Makes Me Great At Work, Makes Me Bad At Life!"