Three Ls Stress Response
Limit avoidable load, learn coping skills, and listen for stress signals.
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~ongoing to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 96%
Gawdat repeatedly summarizes the response to stress as three Ls: limit, learn, and listen. Earlier in the conversation he also says “lesson,” so the transcript contains a wording inconsistency; the repeated later form is used here. Limit means reducing avoidable obligations, inputs, and nuisances. Learn means building the abilities needed for circumstances that cannot be changed. Listen means noticing how stress communicates through four modalities: thoughts for mental stress, feelings for emotional stress, bodily symptoms for physical stress, and intuition or purpose signals for what he calls spiritual stress. The cycle is preventive rather than merely soothing. It changes the incoming load, improves handling capacity, and catches signals earlier. Persistent or serious symptoms still require appropriate professional assessment.
Origin
Mo Gawdat presents the Three Ls as a backbone model from Unstressable, co-authored with Alice Law. Extracted from The Diary of a CEO.
Core principles
- 01Not every stressor deserves admission into life.
- 02Unavoidable pressure becomes easier to handle when relevant skills improve.
- 03Mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual stress signal themselves differently.
- 04Sustainable change addresses recurrence rather than only temporary relief.
How to run it
- 1
Inventory the load
Review a recent week and list obligations, inputs, conflicts, thoughts, and physical pressures that repeatedly created stress.
Pro tip Capture specific triggers rather than writing only categories such as work or family.
- 2
Limit what is avoidable
Cancel, delegate, reduce, delay, or redesign stressors that do not justify their cost.
Pro tip Start with frequent nuisances because small reductions recur.
Watch out Do not treat essential care, safety, or legal obligations as disposable nuisances.
- 3
Learn for what remains
Identify the knowledge, experience, support, or practical technique that would make an unavoidable challenge more manageable.
Pro tip Borrow expertise instead of assuming every capability must be built alone.
- 4
Listen by modality
Notice recurring thoughts, emotions, bodily symptoms, and intuition or purpose conflicts. Treat them as signals to investigate rather than proof of one diagnosis.
Pro tip A brief body scan or written thought can make an ignored signal easier to examine.
Watch out Physical symptoms can have many causes and should not automatically be attributed to stress.
- 5
Respond and repeat
Use a response suited to the signal, then review whether load and functioning improve. Repeat as circumstances and capacity change.
Pro tip For a recurring night thought, Gawdat suggests writing it down and keeping a promise to revisit it in the morning.
In the wild
Gawdat says he counted what amounted to eighteen full-time jobs in his life and cut the list to nine. The example is deliberately incomplete—nine still sounded excessive—but it shows the limit step as an explicit removal of projects rather than a relaxation technique.
→ The total set of obligations falls, creating room for further limiting and better use of attention.
For a thought that repeatedly wakes someone, Gawdat suggests putting it on paper, promising to consider it in the morning, and then keeping that promise. The response is directed at mental stress rather than treating every modality identically.
→ The concern has a trusted place outside working memory and a scheduled time for attention.
Common mistakes
Using only temporary relief
Relaxation may help in the moment but does not by itself remove the recurring stressor or build a missing skill.
Listening without investigation
A thought, feeling, ache, or intuition is a signal to examine, not automatic proof of its cause.
Is it for you?
Best for
People who need a repeatable approach to both life design and day-to-day stress signals.
Not ideal for
Using self-help techniques as a substitute for medical, psychological, or crisis support.
From the transcript
“the Three L's limit learn and lesson”
“remember it's limit learn and listen”
“you get stressed in four modalities”
From the episode
Mo Gawdat: 80% Of Illness Is Linked To One Thing! An Alarming Warning For The Burnout Generation! If You Feel Like This, Quit Your Job Today!