Three Things I Love About You
Build connection by naming three fresh appreciations before intimacy
- Difficulty
- Starter
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 99%
Bratton's game is deliberately simple: one partner asks for three things the other loves about them, and the pair avoid reusing previous answers. The no-repetition rule is the mechanism. It makes each person keep observing the partner rather than relying on a stock compliment, while the receiver practices letting appreciation land instead of immediately rejecting it. Bratton says she especially likes the ritual at the start of lovemaking dates because reassurance helps her feel loved and appreciated. Repeated over time, the exercise builds a growing inventory of specific positive observations and shifts attention from judgment toward affection. It can create a warmer starting state for connection, but it does not erase unresolved conflict or obligate either person to continue into sexual activity.
Origin
Bratton says she and her husband have played the game for decades, often at the beginning of lovemaking dates, with a rule never to repeat an appreciation.
Core principles
- 01Specific appreciation directs attention toward what is valued
- 02Fresh observations prevent praise from becoming automatic
- 03Reassurance can support connection before physical intimacy
- 04Giving appreciation is itself a practice of noticing
How to run it
- 1
Choose a connection moment
Use the ritual before a date, during reconnection, or whenever one partner would value reassurance. Keep it separate from any demand for sex.
Pro tip Make it a recurring ritual rather than saving it only for difficult moments.
Watch out Do not make appreciation conditional on what happens afterward.
- 2
Name three fresh appreciations
Offer three specific things you love, admire, or value about the other person. Choose details that have not been used in earlier rounds.
Pro tip Include qualities, actions, or moments, not only appearance.
Watch out Avoid backhanded compliments or praise that conceals a request.
- 3
Let the words land
Receive each appreciation without correcting, minimizing, or arguing with it. A simple thank-you is enough.
Pro tip Pause briefly after each statement instead of rushing through the list.
Watch out If the exercise feels unsafe or insincere, stop rather than forcing it.
- 4
Reverse the exchange
Give the other partner the same opportunity to receive three fresh appreciations. End with affection or conversation that both people welcome.
Pro tip Keep a private note of past themes if avoiding repetition becomes difficult over years.
Watch out The ritual creates connection; it does not create consent for further activity.
In the wild
Before an at-home date, each partner names three new things they value about the other. One notices patience with the children, another names a recent act of support, and both include one quality they still find attractive.
→ They begin the date focused on specific appreciation rather than the day's unfinished tasks.
Common mistakes
Recycling generic praise
Repeated stock phrases remove the observation practice created by the no-repetition rule.
Rejecting the compliment
Arguing with an appreciation prevents the reassurance from being received.
Turning praise into pressure
The exercise should not be used to imply that affection or sex is now owed.
Is it for you?
Best for
It is best for partners who want a short, repeatable way to reconnect before a date or intimate time.
Not ideal for
It is not a substitute for resolving serious conflict, repairing betrayal, or addressing coercive relationship dynamics.
From the transcript
“can you tell me three things that you love about me?”
“never say the same thing twice”
From the episode
Orgasm Queen: Do This For 20 Minutes Before Having Sex & Have Sex With Them Like When You First Met! I Never Orgasmed Until He Tried This!