Treat The Purpose, Not The Behaviour
Ask 'what's right about it?' — the drinking, bingeing or blushing is serving a hidden role
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 3
- Confidence
- 90%
Peer's core RTT principle: don't treat the symptom, treat its purpose. Where most people ask 'what's wrong with this behaviour?', she asks 'what's right about it?' — because every unwanted behaviour (drinking, bingeing, procrastination, even a headache or blushing) is serving a role. The alcoholic drinks because it's how his late father bonded with him in the pub; the behaviour keeps the memory alive. Every thought and symptom is 'a blueprint your mind, body and psyche work to make real'. Only when you find the true role, benefit and purpose of the behaviour and address that can you change it forever — treating the symptom alone guarantees relapse (rehab eight times, still drinking).
Origin
Peer developed it from watching clients relapse whenever the symptom was treated directly, and finding lasting change only when the underlying need was addressed.
Core principles
- 01Every unwanted behaviour serves a hidden role or benefit.
- 02Ask 'what's right about it?', not 'what's wrong with it?'
- 03Symptoms are blueprints the mind works to make real.
- 04Treating the symptom without the cause guarantees relapse.
How to run it
- 1
Ask what's right about it
For the unwanted behaviour, ask what good it does you — comfort, numbness, connection, attention.
Pro tip Ask: what does it give you, when did you start, why do you think it helps?
- 2
Find the true purpose
Trace the role back to its origin (the pub-bonding with a late father) so you see what need it's meeting.
- 3
Meet the need another way
Show that the need can be met without the behaviour (remember your father without the pint), then the behaviour can go.
Watch out Treat only the symptom and it will keep coming back — no matter how many times you quit.
In the wild
A chronic alcoholic kept drinking beer after his father died because the pub was how they bonded; the drinking preserved the memory.
→ Realising his dad 'doesn't live in a pint of beer' let him keep the memories and drop the drink.
Common mistakes
Attacking the symptom
Willpower against the behaviour ignores the need it serves, so the person relapses — dieting back, rehab repeatedly — until the purpose is addressed.
Is it for you?
Best for
Anyone with a stubborn habit or symptom that keeps returning.
Not ideal for
Situations needing urgent medical detox or crisis care first.
From the transcript
“i don't treat the symptom ... i treat what i call what lies beneath why are you doing that what does it give you”
From the episode
World Leading Therapist: 3 Simple Steps To Remove Your Negative Thoughts: Marisa Peer
World Leading Therapist