The Triple A: Aware, Accept, Articulate
Unfelt feelings regroup and come back stronger — so be aware, accept, and articulate them
- Difficulty
- Starter
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 3
- Confidence
- 90%
Peer's three-step process for any hard feeling: be Aware of what you're feeling; Accept it (rather than judging that you shouldn't feel it); and Articulate it out loud. Feelings are like children shouting 'notice me' — if you don't, they regroup and come back stronger. When you eat, drink, shop, drug or Netflix your feelings, they don't go away; but when you become aware of, accept and articulate them, they actually pass quickly. She notes men express feelings least and die by suicide most, and that antidepressants are often a way to be numb — whereas your feelings are the most real thing you have and will do you a favour if you tune into them.
Origin
Peer invented Triple A to make emotional processing easy to teach to therapists and simple for clients to use on any feeling.
Core principles
- 01Feelings demand attention; ignored, they regroup and strengthen.
- 02Numbing (food, drink, screens) defers rather than dissolves feeling.
- 03You cannot not-feel a feeling; 'you shouldn't feel that' is futile.
- 04Named and accepted feelings pass quickly.
How to run it
- 1
Aware
Name what you're actually feeling — jealousy, rage, sadness — instead of numbing it.
Pro tip The stomach is the seat of the emotion; notice it there.
- 2
Accept
Allow the feeling without judging that you shouldn't have it.
Watch out Telling yourself you shouldn't feel it just sends it underground.
- 3
Articulate
Say it out loud ('I'm feeling real envy that their book outsold mine'), and it dissipates.
Pro tip You can also talk yourself into a state: relabel nerves as adrenaline and excitement.
In the wild
Feeling envious that another author's book outsold hers, Peer names it, accepts it, and says it aloud ('Paul deserves it, he's worked hard, his books are different').
→ The feeling passes quickly instead of being eaten or drunk away.
Common mistakes
Numbing instead of feeling
Eating, drinking or screening your feelings makes them regroup and return stronger, whereas naming them lets them pass.
Is it for you?
Best for
Anyone who suppresses or numbs difficult emotions.
Not ideal for
Acute mental-health crises requiring professional support.
From the transcript
“be aware of what you're feeling and accept it ... then i've got to articulate it”
From the episode
World Leading Therapist: 3 Simple Steps To Remove Your Negative Thoughts: Marisa Peer
World Leading Therapist