Values Alignment Check-In
Compare what matters with how you are living, then close one important gap
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 99%
Smith distinguishes a goal, which can be completed, from a value, which remains a direction throughout life. Her check-in divides life into relevant areas such as family, intimate relationships, health, creativity, learning, career, or contribution. For each area, the person names how they want to behave and what attitude they want to bring, rather than specifying an outcome another person or circumstance must deliver. They then rate how important that value is and how closely recent behavior aligns with it. A large gap identifies an area needing attention and prompts one concrete movement toward the chosen direction. The ratings are reflective tools rather than objective measurements. Smith also stresses that values can shift with life experience, so the process should be repeated rather than treated as a permanent answer found once.
Origin
Dr Julie Smith describes this therapy check-in on The Diary of a CEO while distinguishing ongoing values from completed goals.
Core principles
- 01Goals finish, while values guide an ongoing direction
- 02Values concern how you want to act rather than what must happen to you
- 03Life can pull behavior away from what matters
- 04A discrepancy is information, not a reason for self-attack
- 05Values can change with experience and life stage
How to run it
- 1
Choose life areas
List the parts of life that currently matter, such as relationships, family, health, creativity, learning, work, or contribution.
Pro tip Use only areas that are relevant to your life now.
- 2
Define your way of being
For each area, describe the kind of person you want to be and the attitude you want to bring when difficulties arise.
Pro tip Use qualities such as enthusiasm, care, honesty, or presence.
Watch out Do not define a value as an outcome someone else must produce.
- 3
Rate importance
Give each value an importance rating based on how much it matters to you now.
Pro tip Expect ratings to change across life stages.
- 4
Rate current alignment
On the same scale, rate how closely your recent actions have matched the value.
Pro tip Judge a defined recent period rather than your entire life.
Watch out Use the gap as information, not ammunition for self-criticism.
- 5
Move toward the value
Select one meaningful gap, identify what is pulling you away, and take one feasible action toward the chosen direction.
Pro tip A small corrective movement is still alignment.
In the wild
Bartlett describes being absorbed by a critical article and realizing he had neglected the relationship that mattered more to him. In Smith's model, he could rate being a present partner as highly important, notice that his recent behavior scored poorly, identify the discrepancy, and choose a direct action that restores contact.
→ The conflict becomes a visible alignment gap with a practical next move rather than a vague sense that life feels wrong.
Common mistakes
Writing goals instead of values
Passing an exam is a completed outcome; describing how you want to approach learning is an ongoing direction.
Freezing values forever
Smith says values can change as experience, circumstances, and life stages change.
Is it for you?
Best for
People who feel lost, overloaded, or pulled between work, relationships, health, learning, and contribution.
Not ideal for
Decisions where immediate safety, legal duties, or unavoidable constraints must take priority over a personal preference.
From the transcript
“a goal is something that you once you achieve it once you get there it's done”
“how much do i feel like i'm living in line with that this week”
From the episode
World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith