Yours, Mine, and Ours Prenup Structure
Sort assets and liabilities into three agreed ownership buckets.
- Difficulty
- Advanced
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 99%
Sexton describes a simple prenuptial structure with three buckets. Anything held in one partner's name, whether an asset or liability, remains that person's responsibility and is protected from the other's claim; the same applies in reverse. Anything placed in joint names belongs in the shared bucket, with equal responsibility for obligations or equal entitlement to asset value under his example. The mechanism replaces vague expectations with explicit ownership rules. It is not a set-and-forget arrangement: the couple still needs to discuss how later earnings, bonuses, purchases, and debts are allocated. Sexton's description reflects his US legal practice, so the structure must be drafted and tested by qualified lawyers under the law that will govern the agreement.
Origin
James Sexton presents this as the simplest prenuptial structure he uses in his US divorce-law practice. Extracted from The Diary of a CEO.
Core principles
- 01Couples can define economic rules instead of relying only on default law.
- 02Assets and liabilities both need explicit ownership treatment.
- 03Joint ownership should carry joint responsibility or entitlement.
- 04The agreement still requires continuing financial conversations.
How to run it
- 1
Confirm the legal context
Ask qualified lawyers how prenuptial agreements operate in the relevant jurisdiction. Each partner should understand the proposed rights, obligations, and enforceability requirements.
Pro tip Start early enough to avoid last-minute pressure before a wedding.
Watch out Sexton's US account may not apply unchanged elsewhere.
- 2
Disclose the full picture
Create a complete record of assets, liabilities, income, and relevant expectations. Use the same valuation date and definitions for both partners.
Pro tip Include debts and contingent obligations, not only visible assets.
Watch out Fraud, duress, or inadequate process can create legal and ethical problems.
- 3
Define yours and mine
State how property and obligations held in each person's sole name will be treated. Make any exceptions explicit rather than relying on assumptions.
Pro tip Use concrete definitions for future appreciation and income.
Watch out A title alone may not determine legal treatment without a valid agreement.
- 4
Define ours
Specify how jointly held assets and liabilities will be divided or serviced. Sexton's simple example uses equal responsibility and equal entitlement.
Pro tip Agree who can create a joint obligation and with what consent.
Watch out Equal division is Sexton's example, not a mandatory rule.
- 5
Keep talking after signing
Discuss where new earnings, bonuses, purchases, and debts will go. Review the structure when finances or family circumstances change materially.
Pro tip Schedule a regular financial review while goodwill is high.
Watch out Do not assume the original buckets answer every future situation.
In the wild
Sexton imagines one spouse receiving a large work bonus after marriage. Rather than silently placing it in a sole account, that spouse explains how much will remain individual and how much will enter the joint account, giving the other partner a chance to question the allocation and discuss what it means.
→ The bucket structure prompts an explicit financial conversation instead of hiding a consequential choice.
Common mistakes
Treating the template as legal advice
The transcript discusses US practice and acknowledges that rules may differ in the UK and other jurisdictions.
Listing assets but ignoring debt
Sexton's three buckets expressly cover liabilities as well as assets.
Setting it and forgetting it
The structure still depends on continuing conversations about later income and joint choices.
Is it for you?
Best for
Couples considering marriage who want explicit economic rules and are willing to discuss money openly with qualified advisers.
Not ideal for
Anyone treating a generic structure as jurisdiction-specific legal advice or attempting an agreement without proper disclosure and independent counsel.
From the transcript
“I refer to the simplest pre-nup as a yours, mine, and ours.”
“If it's in my name, whether it's an asset or a liability, it's mine.”
“You can't just set it and forget it now.”
From the episode
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