TThe Diary of a CEO
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05 June 2023

A Billion dollar NIGHTMARE! The Disturbing Drama Behind The Scenes Of A Billion Dollar Beauty Business. The Ordinary - Nicola Kilner

5Frameworks
12Insights

Frameworks in this episode

Insights & moments

The myth-busts, hot takes, explainers, and tools worth keeping.

Hot Take· 1

Hot Take1:12:30

DECIEM's Public Crisis Increased Product Demand

Nicola says demand rose dramatically while Brandon's public posts and the company's internal crisis attracted attention. Steven recalls first discovering The Ordinary through coverage of the founder's Instagram activity, and Nicola says many customers may have encountered the brand the same way. Both speakers distinguish that controversy-driven discovery from the product qualities that sustained the business; the size of the causal effect is not independently established.

  • Public posts made the internal crisis visible to customers, retailers, and journalists
  • Nicola reports that demand increased while leadership and operations were under strain
  • Steven's first exposure to the company came through controversy rather than a product search
  • Nicola finds it painful that many people knew Brandon only through his period of crisis

our demand for the products went through the roof

Nicola Kilner · 1:12:30

many people's first interaction with the brand was probably through you know being told have you seen this person on Instagram

Nicola Kilner · 1:13:30
#controversy#demand#social-media#brand-awareness

Story· 8

Story24:30

The All-Nighters Behind DECIEM's Early Retail Orders

Nicola recalls the early team accepting orders before knowing exactly how they would fulfil them, then moving from office work to the factory to manufacture and pack products. She describes hand-crimping tubes and testing whether they would burst, illustrating the breadth of work early employees took on. The story shows DECIEM's improvisational startup culture, not a recommendation to bypass product safety or normalize all-nighters.

  • The company sometimes accepted a retailer order and solved fulfilment afterward
  • Founders and office staff moved onto production and packing work when needed
  • Early equipment included a hand-crimping machine with unreliable seals
  • Nicola identifies willingness to wear the needed hat as a key early-stage trait

we would say yes and we'd figure it out afterwards

Nicola Kilner · 25:00

the ability to wear whichever hat is needed

Nicola Kilner · 25:30
#startups#operations#retail#hiring
Story42:00

How an Eight-Week Investment Became a Seven-Year Acquisition

Nicola says DECIEM sought funding shortly after The Ordinary launched and completed an initial Estee Lauder Companies deal eight weeks after the first meeting. She reports that the investor first took 29 percent and later moved to 76 percent, with full ownership planned for the following year. The valuations and timeline are Nicola's account in the interview; the episode does not independently audit the transaction.

  • DECIEM was about four years old when it sought additional capital for scaling
  • Nicola says the initial due diligence and negotiation took eight weeks
  • She reports an early valuation of about $160 million
  • She describes the staged acquisition as time for both companies to learn where to help and where to preserve autonomy

it was eight weeks from our very first meeting to the deal being signed

Nicola Kilner · 42:30

they became a minority investor

Nicola Kilner · 43:30
#investment#acquisition#estee-lauder#scaling
Story45:00

Nicola's Account of Brandon Truaxe's Sudden Behaviour Change

Nicola says Brandon's behaviour appeared to change abruptly around the end of 2017, after he had become interested in psychedelics and planned to experiment in Amsterdam. She describes coldness, unusual statements about time, cancelled business relationships, anger, and eventually being fired. Nicola agrees when Steven asks whether drug use may have triggered a psychotic episode, but the transcript provides no clinical diagnosis or evidence establishing a single cause.

  • Nicola contrasts the change with years in which she had not observed similar episodes
  • She reports that Brandon had been reading about psychedelics and experimenting with mushrooms
  • Business decisions and relationships were ended publicly without the usual internal process
  • Any causal link among substances, mental illness, and the behavioural change remains an interpretation in the interview

it truly happened what felt like overnight

Nicola Kilner · 45:00

everything had changed

Nicola Kilner · 48:00
#brandon-truaxe#mental-health#psychedelics#leadership-crisis
Story58:30

Five Detentions Left Nicola Feeling the System Could Not Hold

Nicola reports that Brandon was detained under mental-health powers five times during 2018 across the UK, Canada, and the United States, often being released after short periods. She describes fragmented systems, recurring substance use, and the inability of friends or colleagues to make another adult accept help. These are her recollections and limited understanding; the episode does not provide medical records, a diagnosis, or a basis for judging the clinical decisions involved.

  • Nicola initially felt relief when Brandon was first detained because she expected treatment
  • She says repeated releases were followed by further crises
  • A brief reconciliation led her to return and try to help, but she found the situation worse
  • She emphasizes the distress experienced both by an unwell person and by people around them

he got sectioned five times

Nicola Kilner · 59:00

you just feel like you can't help

Nicola Kilner · 1:00:30
#mental-health#substance-use#care-systems#helplessness
Story1:02:30

The Instagram Shutdown Post That Forced Board Intervention

Nicola says Brandon announced on Instagram that DECIEM was closing, placing roughly eight hundred jobs at risk and prompting shareholders to seek a court order removing him as CEO. She describes the order as intended to protect the company temporarily so he might get help and eventually return. The team then brought back experienced early employees and restored organization while product demand was rising sharply.

  • The company's internal conflict was unfolding publicly through emails and Instagram
  • Nicola says the shutdown announcement left the board with no practical choice but to intervene
  • She became sole CEO while seven months pregnant
  • Her first move was to reassemble co-founders and leaders who understood the company's values and operations

the shareholders had to step in

Nicola Kilner · 1:02:30

assemble the team

Nicola Kilner · 1:12:00
#crisis-management#governance#instagram#leadership
Story1:17:30

The Call Confirming Brandon Truaxe Had Died

Nicola recalls a press inquiry arriving before DECIEM's team knew Brandon had died. After police confirmed his body had been found, she moved into notifying his partner, close colleagues, and Estee Lauder Companies while caring for her newborn daughter. She says he fell from a high-floor balcony and does not believe he intended suicide, but she repeatedly acknowledges that no one present in the conversation knows what happened.

  • A reporter's inquiry was the first indication to the company that Brandon might have died
  • Nicola learned the news while breastfeeding her newborn daughter
  • She prioritized informing close people before the news spread through the press
  • Her view that the death was not intentional is explicitly personal and uncertain

you just never think that's actually the ending that's going to come

Nicola Kilner · 1:18:00

none of us were there so we'll never truly know what happened

Nicola Kilner · 1:22:00
#brandon-truaxe#death#grief#crisis-communication
Story1:22:30

Nicola Says Leadership and Motherhood Delayed Her Grief

Nicola says she does not know whether she ever fully processed Brandon's death. The company needed operational stability after a year of turmoil, demand was surging, and she also had a newborn baby. She hopes eventually to work through the experience with a psychologist, while saying she wants to choose a time when she can give that process adequate attention; this is her personal decision, not clinical advice about when grief support should begin.

  • DECIEM needed practical repair as well as emotional support after the crisis
  • Nicola responded by staying busy with leadership and new motherhood
  • She still wonders whether anything could have been done differently
  • Brandon's will later reassured her that he had viewed their bond as genuine and deeply trusted

I actually don't know if I ever have

Nicola Kilner · 1:22:30

is there anything different we could have done

Nicola Kilner · 1:24:30
#grief#leadership#motherhood#regret
Story1:39:00

Why Brandon's Decline Felt Like History Repeating

Nicola says her father lost a long-held radio career, used alcohol as a coping mechanism, and declined quickly before dying when she was twenty. She recalls a doctor describing severe addiction as an illness that could recur and says this helped her interpret his inability to stop, though the cancer comparison voiced in the discussion is an analogy rather than a medical equivalence established by the episode. Watching Brandon later struggle with substances and mental health felt to her like history repeating.

  • Nicola associates her father's decline with loss of purpose and increasing alcohol use
  • She describes the family's helplessness when love and requests could not make him stop
  • A doctor's reported explanation helped her view severe addiction as illness rather than a simple choice
  • She distinguishes her father's continued warmth from the anger she observed during Brandon's crisis

alcohol just became a coping mechanism

Nicola Kilner · 1:40:30

it was like history repeating itself again

Nicola Kilner · 1:43:30
#addiction#alcohol#family#grief

Q&A· 1

Q&A16:30

Belonging Built DECIEM's Culture—But Intensity Had a Cost

Nicola describes DECIEM's early team as a close group that travelled, ate, and spent weekends together, with fun and shared creation deepening commitment. She also looks back critically on the high expectations and pressure to work evenings and weekends, questioning whether that intensity was healthy. Steven and Nicola treat family language as a source of care and belonging while acknowledging the boundary risks it can carry.

  • Brandon Truaxe wanted DECIEM to provide a sense of family and belonging
  • Nicola says shared experiences outside ordinary work strengthened relationships and creativity
  • The early team accepted intense hours because they enjoyed building together
  • Nicola now places greater emphasis on mental health, burnout awareness, and balance

the most important thing anyone in our team should feel is that they belong

Nicola Kilner · 18:30

people spend so long in the workplace

Nicola Kilner · 22:00
#culture#belonging#startups#burnout

Takeaway· 2

Takeaway04:30

Why Nicola Recommends Corporate Experience Before a Startup

Nicola says her placement and buying roles at Boots taught her how a large organization handles retail, supply chain, finance, legal review, innovation, and demand. She would recommend a few years in a corporate environment before entrepreneurship or joining a startup, while recognizing that people driven to shape culture may find a startup more suitable. This is career advice based on her experience, not a universal sequence.

  • Boots combined paid company experience with part-time business study
  • Nicola learned both what a large organization does well and where its scale slows change
  • Her buying role required retailer relationships, cross-functional coordination, and support for emerging brands
  • She views a startup as especially valuable for people who want direct influence on culture and decisions

I learned so much

Nicola Kilner · 06:00

going to join a startup is just incredible energy

Nicola Kilner · 06:30
#career#corporate#startups#apprenticeship
Takeaway26:00

Nicola's Case Against a Universal Work-Life Balance

Nicola agrees that no single work-life split suits everyone or every stage. She says intense work felt fulfilling in her twenties, while children, an older parent, or personal challenges can later change what support and time are needed. Her preferred team response is reciprocal coverage across changing life periods, not a permanent expectation that everyone sustain startup intensity.

  • Nicola says her work was also a hobby and source of happiness in DECIEM's early years
  • She believes the right balance changes as responsibilities and health circumstances change
  • Team members can temporarily cover for one another during demanding personal periods
  • The view is personal and contextual rather than a claim that long hours are harmless

it comes down to what's the right balance to you

Nicola Kilner · 26:30

it changes at different periods of your life

Nicola Kilner · 26:30
#work-life-balance#life-stages#teamwork#wellbeing