Perspective Check for Emotional Decisions
Pause emotional decisions and test them with someone you trust
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 96%
Ashley Walters describes his internal voice as biased and capable of justifying choices he later considers harmful. His alternative is to quiet that voice, connect with someone he trusts, and ask for another perspective before deciding. The mechanism is a deliberate interruption: first recognise that anger, fear, jealousy, or another strong emotion is shaping the story; then avoid acting immediately, explain the situation to a trusted person, compare their reading with the facts you can observe, and decide from a calmer position. Walters mentions his mother and wife as people he might call. This is his personal decision practice rather than a clinical claim, and it does not replace specialist advice where the stakes require it.
Origin
Extracted from The Diary of a CEO
Core principles
- 01Strong emotion can distort judgement
- 02Internal narratives are biased inputs, not neutral facts
- 03A trusted outside view can expose assumptions
- 04Decisions improve when anger, fear, or jealousy has eased
How to run it
- 1
Identify the emotional frame
Name the anger, fear, jealousy, hurt, or other emotion influencing how you currently read the situation.
Pro tip Write down what happened separately from what you think it means.
- 2
Interrupt immediate action
Avoid making the consequential move while the emotion remains intense enough to dominate your reasoning.
Watch out Do not delay action where immediate safety is at risk.
- 3
Choose a trusted perspective
Contact someone who understands you and can disagree honestly rather than simply confirm your preferred story.
Pro tip Ask what they think before telling them what answer you want.
- 4
Compare stories with facts
Set your interpretation beside the outside view and identify which claims are observations, assumptions, or emotional predictions.
Watch out A second opinion is another input, not automatic proof.
- 5
Decide from the wider view
Make the choice after the emotional intensity has reduced and you have considered the additional perspective.
In the wild
Walters says that when he is thinking through an emotional issue, it makes more sense to call his mother or open up to his wife, ask what they think, and then make the decision with another perspective available.
→ The decision is no longer based only on the emotionally biased voice in his head.
Common mistakes
Treating the internal story as fact
A convincing thought can still be a biased interpretation shaped by the current emotion.
Seeking agreement instead of perspective
Calling only someone who will endorse the preferred reaction preserves rather than challenges the distortion.
Is it for you?
Best for
It is best for interpersonal conflicts and personal decisions where a trusted outsider can challenge a one-sided interpretation.
Not ideal for
It is not sufficient for emergencies or decisions requiring qualified legal, medical, or financial advice.
From the transcript
“get someone else's perspective and then make decisions”
“you should never be making decisions in that frame of mind”
From the episode
Ashley Walters (Top Boy): "Me & Kano Didn't Have The Greatest Time!". The Unheard TRUTH About Top Boy, Career Rejection & Personal Grief!