Psychodrama In Three-Dimensional Space
Place the person physically in the room and the real feelings appear — quite different from the story you tell about them.
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 90%
Van der Kolk's favourite clinical activity, run about four times a year, is psychodrama: acting things out in three-dimensional physical space with other people playing the roles. He is candid that he has never done the science behind it and still loves doing it. The mechanism he claims is that placing a person physically produces feelings that differ substantially from the narrative someone tells. He demonstrates it live: asked where he would put his father in the room, Bartlett immediately and precisely says at the head of the table, because that is where his father always sat, and the feelings that surface are not abstract — his father is in charge, and simultaneously, as an adult, no, I am in charge now. The protocol then permits things impossible in words: he may invite someone to hit the father, with a pillow held in front. And then the reparative half — choose someone to play the father you always wanted, and show how you would like that person to hold you, which usually produces a deep emotional release. He justifies it against ordinary therapy with his old teacher's objection: an eighty-year-old therapist being respectful and caring cannot give a thirty-something the felt experience of a mother's love at age three. That is a mismatch. But a physical, virtual reality can deliver the imprint of what was missing.
Origin
Psychodrama is a chapter in The Body Keeps The Score and got van der Kolk into theatre. He names it, alongside rolfing and EMDR, among the things that have personally helped him most, and says he is always astounded by what comes out of it.
Core principles
- 01Three-dimensional physical space produces different material than narrative does.
- 02People know exactly where to place a figure, instantly and precisely.
- 03You can do things virtually that you could never do in words.
- 04The reparative half matters as much as the confrontational half.
- 05A therapist's warmth cannot substitute for a developmentally-matched imprint.
How to run it
- 1
Place the figure physically
Ask where in this room you would put your father. Van der Kolk notes the answer is immediate and exact — not there, but there — and that the precision itself is the finding.
Pro tip Even imagining the placement without a person playing the role starts producing feeling.
Watch out Asking someone to describe their father instead produces a story, which is the thing this technique is designed to bypass.
- 2
Let the concrete feelings surface
Van der Kolk asks what reaction you have as you see him there. Bartlett's answer is layered — he is in charge, and now as an adult I am in charge. Van der Kolk's point is that this does not come up abstractly, only concretely.
Pro tip Contradictory reactions arriving together are normal and informative.
Watch out The feelings that surface often overlap poorly with the story the person tells about that relationship.
- 3
Allow the impossible action
For people with harsh or neglectful fathers, he may ask whether they want to hit their father, with a pillow held in front by others in the group.
Pro tip Both reactions are useful — 'if I could have done that it would be so great' and 'how guilty I feel'.
Watch out This requires a held group setting; it is not a solo exercise.
- 4
Build the reparative version
Ask the person to pick someone to play the father they always wanted, and encourage them to show how they would like to be held. This usually produces a very deep emotional release.
Pro tip The frequent statement is: if my dad had held me like this at three, five, eight, my life would have been completely different.
Watch out Skipping the reparative half leaves the person with activated grief and no imprint of what was missing.
In the wild
Asked where he would place his father in the studio, Bartlett immediately said the head of the table they were sitting at, because his father was always at the head of the table and in charge of what the family ate.
→ The feelings that surfaced were concrete and layered — his father's authority, and Bartlett's adult counter-position that he is the head of his own table now. Van der Kolk noted it does not come up abstractly, only concretely.
Van der Kolk's old teacher argued that a therapist hoping to give a reparative emotional experience through respect and care is offering a mismatch — an eighty-year-old cannot give a thirty-something the feeling of being loved by their mother at three.
→ Psychodrama's justification is that a physical, three-dimensional enactment can deliver that imprint where a therapeutic relationship cannot.
Common mistakes
Trusting the narrative over the enactment
Van der Kolk says the feelings toward the placed person become very vivid and the overlap with the story people tell is quite different. Working from the account alone works from the less reliable source.
Expecting therapeutic warmth to be reparative
His teacher's mismatch argument: care from an age-inappropriate figure cannot substitute for the developmentally-specific experience that was missing.
Treating it as roleplay
Bartlett calls it roleplaying your past; van der Kolk corrects him — because you work in three-dimensional space it feels much more real. The physicality is the mechanism, not the framing.
Is it for you?
Best for
People stuck in a well-rehearsed narrative about a family relationship, and group therapists looking for embodied methods.
Not ideal for
Solo work — the technique requires other people to hold roles and safety.
From the transcript
“when you act out things in three-dimensional space it becomes a completely different phenomenon”
“the feelings toward that person become very vivid and the overlap is quite different from the story that people tell”
“I as an 80 year old guy cannot give you as a 30 something year old guy the feeling of what it would have been…”
From the episode
The Body Trauma Expert: Medicating Kids Can Harm Brain Development! Eye Movement Trick That Fixes Trauma! The Secret To EMDR Therapy! - Bessel van Der Kolk
Bessel van der Kolk