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The Mindset Doctor23 January 2023

The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters

10Frameworks
10Insights

Frameworks in this episode

Mindset3 steps

Accept Then Plan

Start from what is actually in front of you, then move immediately to a plan — the two-beat move that separates responding from reacting.

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Productivity4 steps

Commitment Over Motivation

Remove the emotion from the decision, state what is getting done, and start — motivation arrives afterwards.

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Peak Performance4 steps

Computer Mode

Deliberately program the autopilot so that in fast-moving performance you execute without thinking at all.

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Self-Mastery4 steps

Define and Measure Your Values

Find your actual values, translate each into an observable behaviour, and measure whether you are living them.

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Communication5 steps

Exercising the Chimp

Let the emotion out fully and out loud, decide whether it can be addressed, then make a plan — in that order.

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Self-Mastery5 steps

Gremlins and Goblins

Sort damaging beliefs into the ones you can remove and the ones you can only box in — and stop punishing yourself over the second kind.

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Mindset4 steps

Self-Image Programming

Change the identity you hold, and cognitive dissonance plus your own Chimp will enforce the habit for you.

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Self-Mastery5 steps

The Blank Piece of Paper

Start with who you want to be, not with what is wrong — and recognise that list as the actual you.

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Self-Mastery5 steps

The Chimp Model

Treat your mind as three separate systems — Human, Chimp and Computer — so you stop confusing your machine with yourself.

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Mindset4 steps

The Triangle of Change

Three things actually move people: a big enough reward or pain, psychological mindedness, and commitment.

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Insights & moments

The myth-busts, hot takes, explainers, and tools worth keeping.

Myth Buster· 3

Myth Buster32:41

Demanding fairness feels rational — the neuroscience says it is your Chimp

When you insist on being treated fairly, it feels like your rational, logical self talking. Peters says it is not. He looked at the great apes in the 1990s, with the academic publication following in 2018, showing that chimpanzees and humans think very differently from the other great apes. Chimpanzees run on the same emotional system we carry, and unfairness experiments with chimpanzees — and even capuchin monkeys — show they demand fairness. So when we demand fairness, we are operating from the emotional system. The Human system can accept unfairness, get over it and stop dealing with trivia. Bartlett notes that the single sentence a friend took from The Chimp Paradox was the reminder that life is not fair, stress will happen and things will go wrong — because the friction in her life had been expecting fairness.

  • The demand for fairness registers as logic but is generated by the emotional system
  • Peters observed the great apes in the 1990s; the academic publication followed in 2018
  • Unfairness experiments with chimpanzees and capuchin monkeys show the same demand
  • The Human system can accept unfairness and move on
  • The line that lands hardest with readers is simply: life is not fair

“when we demand fairness we're actually operating from the chimp system which is emotionally based the human can accept unfairness”

Professor Steve Peters · 33:44

“have realistic expectations and remind yourself of the obvious life is not fair stress will happen things will go wrong”

Steven Bartlett · 34:33
#fairness#neuroscience#expectations#primatology#chimp paradox
Myth Buster47:41

Low self-esteem is natural, healthy and completely unhelpful

Peters calls this his controversial, almost paradoxical position. The Chimp system is naturally and healthily low self-esteemed — the fear that you are not up to it is inbuilt, and it is seen in chimpanzees as well as in humans. The logic is protective: do not put yourself in a vulnerable place by beating your chest and announcing you are strong, because you could get attacked. Better to keep your head down, wear a tin helmet and hope it goes away. The problem is that once you fear you are not as good as other people, you start searching for evidence and you will always find it, because comparing yourself to anyone excelling supplies it instantly. So his first step is not to fight the feeling but to accept it as healthy and natural while naming it unhelpful. He says people sometimes feel dramatically better simply on learning there is nothing wrong with them.

  • The Chimp is naturally low self-esteemed; the fear of not being up to it is inbuilt
  • It is protective — keeping your head down avoids being attacked
  • Search for evidence you are inadequate and you will always find it
  • First step is accepting it as healthy and natural, then naming it unhelpful
  • The relief of learning nothing is wrong with you can itself be the turning point
  • Peters' practical prescription starts with not comparing yourself to others

“the chimp system is naturally and healthily low self-esteemed that is the natural chimp system”

Professor Steve Peters · 47:57

“it's better to keep your head down wear a tin helmet and hope it goes away so that's how the chimp system works”

Professor Steve Peters · 48:34
#self-esteem#confidence#comparison#neuroscience#mindset
Myth Buster01:20:48

You do not choose your beliefs — which is why mirror affirmations make Peters laugh

Bartlett asks whether he could genuinely choose to believe something, even with his family on the line. Peters says no. We do not choose beliefs, we develop them, and we develop them from experience and education — evidence-based. Anything else is brainwashing, and it does not hold. He applies this directly to the popular advice to look in the mirror and say nice things to yourself, and openly laughs at it. His alternative when someone dislikes what they see is not to argue them out of it but to go down a different road entirely and ask how important it really is what you look like. Peters extends the same principle to how he treats other people's beliefs: he will not tell someone their belief is rubbish, even one he disagrees with, because it comes from their experience. He challenges it to check it is genuinely held, then examines the long-term consequences with them.

  • Beliefs are developed from experience and education, not chosen
  • You cannot brainwash yourself into a belief that has no evidence behind it
  • Peters openly laughs at mirror affirmations
  • His alternative is to question how much the thing actually matters
  • He will not overwrite someone's belief — he challenges it and tests the long-term consequence
  • The person has to say 'this rings true to me' or nothing sticks

“if we don't choose beliefs we develop beliefs ... but we develop them on what we experience or what education tells us”

Professor Steve Peters · 01:21:36

“there's a lot of people out there that say go look in the mirror and say nice things to yourself in the mirror and that…”

Steven Bartlett · 01:22:23
#beliefs#affirmations#self-talk#evidence#self-esteem

Explainer· 3

Explainer38:07

Your emotional memory starts before you are born — and gets a three-year head start

Peters explains why early damage is so hard to find and so persistent. Emotional memory begins in foetal life — before we are even born, it is starting to work out what trauma is and react to it, responding to things like the mother's heartbeat. It has roughly a three-year head start on the human circuit, which does not come online for about three years, which is why we have no memories before around the age of two. What counts as traumatic is defined by the child, not by adults: he offers the deliberately facetious example of a child having its favourite sweets stolen, which at that moment could register as nothing in life being safe. He also describes how two events can get emotionally tangled — coming bottom of a spelling test and then being called an idiot at home — and that tangle is what damages the circuits.

  • Emotional memory begins in foetal life and reacts to the mother's heartbeat
  • The human circuit does not come online for around three years
  • That is why we cannot remember before roughly the age of two
  • Trauma is defined by the child's experience, not by adult standards
  • Two unrelated events getting emotionally tangled is a common damage mechanism
  • It is probabilities, not certainties — some children experience abuse with no repercussions

“our emotional memory begins in foetal life so before we're even born the emotional memory is starting to work out what trauma is and react…”

Professor Steve Peters · 40:28

“you've got one out of ten and you were bottom of the spelling test ... and the two together get emotionally tangled and that then…”

Professor Steve Peters · 39:41
#childhood trauma#neuroscience#memory#beliefs#self-esteem
Explainer43:52

The brain keeps developing to about 30 — which is why you stopped wanting the nightclub

Peters says the brain keeps developing up to around the age of 30, with maturity — the rationality of the brain — arriving somewhere around 25 to 30, and quite a lot of men continuing to about 32. He also describes an earlier switch at around 17, when the brain changes almost to the day for most people and individualization begins: teenagers stop simply conforming to the peer group and start deciding what they actually like. Research he cites suggests roughly one in four people individualize fully and set their own agendas, while about three in four stay semi-dependent throughout life, looking to a strong figure to bond with. Bartlett tests it against himself: at 23 and 24 he spent ridiculous sums on champagne with sparklers to impress people, and at 30 does not want to go to nightclubs at all.

  • Brain development continues to roughly age 30; maturity lands around 25 to 30
  • Some men continue to around 32
  • Around 17 the brain changes almost to the day and individualization begins
  • Roughly one in four fully individualize; about three in four stay semi-dependent
  • In your 30s and 40s attention shifts to values, friendships and quality of life
  • Peters' half-joking marker of middle age is buying a bird table

“the younger we are when we're developing the brain the brain keeps developing up to the age of around 30”

Professor Steve Peters · 43:58

“around 17 neuroscientifically the brain does change almost to the day for most people”

Professor Steve Peters · 53:56
#brain development#adolescence#identity#peer pressure#maturity
Explainer49:35

Why you give the one person who dislikes you all your attention

Peters calls social media a disaster area for a specific mechanical reason: the Chimp wants to be loved by everybody. The evidence, he says, is strong that if one friend clearly likes you and another is not keen on you, you will give more attention to the one who is not keen — currying favour with them while neglecting the friend who already values you. In a chimpanzee troop this is rational: a chimp curries favour with the powerful because an excluded chimp is in real trouble, unlikely to be taken in by another troop and likely to be taken by a leopard, since it has to sleep sometime. To our inner system, rejection still registers as life and death. Teenagers are especially exposed — the brain at that point is extremely sensitive to peer pressure and is built to form peer groups, so criticism of a hairstyle or socks can genuinely damage the circuits. The Human alternative is to build your own inner world and invest in the people who respect and love you.

  • The Chimp wants to be loved by everybody, so it chases the person who is not keen
  • In a troop, exclusion means likely death, so the instinct is not irrational in origin
  • Teenagers' brains are extremely sensitive to peer pressure by design
  • Peer criticism at that age can genuinely damage the circuits
  • The Human alternative: decide who is inside your world and invest there
  • Children need teaching that they self-assess and please people on their own terms

“you'll actually give more attention to the person who's not keen on you”

Professor Steve Peters · 49:54

“a chimpanzee will always try and curry favour with the powerful chimps because it doesn't want excluding, an excluded chimp is in trouble”

Professor Steve Peters · 51:09
#social media#peer pressure#teenagers#belonging#self-esteem

Story· 3

Story06:05

How a forensic psychiatrist ended up going undercover at the Athens Olympics

Peters never aimed at sport — he says he is not a sports fan, he is a people fan, and he follows people into whatever world they choose. He was working in forensic psychiatry with detained patients under the Mental Health Act while still teaching medicine at university when a former medical student, then a doctor with an Olympic cycling team, called him for an opinion on a professional who was struggling mentally. That athlete excelled, and Peters was introduced to Chris Hoy. Hoy asked Peters to come to the Athens Olympics with him, so Peters went undercover to help him get his gold medal, and afterwards Hoy asked him to join the team permanently. British swimming came next, then what Peters describes as a cascade across the Olympic teams.

  • Peters came in left field — he was a forensic psychiatry specialist, not a sports psychologist
  • The entry point was a favour: an opinion for a former student who had become a cycling team doctor
  • He went undercover to the Athens Olympics at Chris Hoy's request
  • He held off for a year before joining, then took the leap while working with Vicky Pendleton
  • Sir David Brailsford has called Peters' appointment the best appointment he has ever made

“I'm not a sports fan I'm a people fan which means where people choose to work then I follow them and I've got to learn…”

Professor Steve Peters · 06:23

“I went undercover to the Athens Olympics he asked me to go with him so we could make sure that he got his gold medal”

Professor Steve Peters · 07:25
#elite sport#career path#psychiatry#british cycling#olympics
Story18:04

Ronnie O'Sullivan walking out mid-World Championship, and the voice he could not stop

Before meeting O'Sullivan, Peters knew nothing about him or snooker, so he went online to watch footage. He saw O'Sullivan hitting the white ball with the cue and then, part way through a World Championship, simply stopping, shaking hands and walking out. Peters found it distressing to watch — the emotion the man was experiencing had to be so unpleasant to produce that — and decided he wanted to help him. When they later reviewed the incident, O'Sullivan described a voice telling him he did not want to be there, growing stronger, telling him to hit the ball and keep walking, while he himself was saying he just wanted to play and enjoy the game. O'Sullivan challenged the model at first, then after about an hour said he understood: there were two of him.

  • Peters diagnosed from public YouTube footage before ever meeting him
  • O'Sullivan described an internal voice he could not stop or manage
  • He resisted the model for about an hour before it landed
  • He concluded his Human and Chimp systems were poles apart
  • The problem was never confined to snooker — his whole life was emotionally driven
  • He has worked on managing it for over ten years and the two have been friends for a decade

“the emotion that that guy was getting at that point was to being so unpleasant that part way through a World Championships competition he just…”

Professor Steve Peters · 18:21

“there were two of me there was me trying to do what I want and there's this voice which I couldn't manage at all”

Professor Steve Peters · 19:14
#emotional regulation#elite sport#anxiety#case study#snooker
Story01:22:44

The bird table and the cat: the accident that taught Peters to stop looking in the mirror

Years ago, as a junior doctor, Peters worked with a young inpatient who hated the way she looked. He thought she was attractive, but there was no point trying to convince her, and he was lost — self-harm was a concern and nothing he had learned at medical school was working. By chance, while chatting, he asked what she liked doing and she said she loved animals. The ward happened to have a neglected bird table and a cat nobody bothered with. Unplanned, he asked her to look after both. Without a word of a lie, he says, a different person emerged. She was discharged, went to work at an animal centre, and at outpatient follow-up was as happy as could be. When he finally broached her self-esteem she said it did not matter, because she was a carer and the animals needed her. Peters reads it psychodynamically — she needed love, so she gave love — and says he does not mind how it is interpreted, because it worked.

  • Nothing he had been taught at medical school was working on her self-image
  • The intervention was unplanned and came from asking what she enjoyed
  • Giving her something to care for changed her within the conversation
  • She was discharged and went to work at an animal centre
  • Her self-esteem had not been argued into place — it had been relocated outside herself
  • It taught Peters not to go down one route, and to build a toolbox instead

“I just thought can you look after the bird table and can you look after the cat and without a word of a lie a…”

Professor Steve Peters · 01:23:36

“sometimes people just need to have a purpose in life and feel valued rather than what they look like”

Professor Steve Peters · 01:24:43
#purpose#self-esteem#psychiatry#case study#altruism

Takeaway· 1

Takeaway02:02:24

The deathbed lesson: never forget who you are

Asked by the podcast's closing tradition what single lesson he would leave behind from his deathbed, Peters answered from his scientific background: never forget who you are. He explains it as the whole model collapsed into one line — remembering who you are means you have removed the Chimp and the Computer and found the person underneath the machine. He then points straight back to the exercise he had described earlier: remember the blank piece of paper, because that is what will give you the self-esteem you deserve. It sits alongside his closing message that everyone who succeeds has done it themselves and he is only a catalyst, that it is a skill rather than a gift, and that anyone for whom his model does not resonate should go and find something that does.

  • The single lesson: never forget who you are
  • Remembering who you are means separating yourself from the Chimp and the Computer
  • The practical anchor is the blank piece of paper exercise
  • Peters calls himself only a catalyst — the people who succeed did it themselves
  • He insists it is a skill, so people who struggled should not give up
  • If his model does not resonate, he tells people to find one that does

“I would, in the context of my scientific background, never forget who you are”

Professor Steve Peters · 02:02:36

“so never forget who you are remember the blank piece of paper because that's going to give you the self-esteem you deserve”

Professor Steve Peters · 02:02:50

“those who succeed have done it themselves all I am is a catalyst”

Professor Steve Peters · 02:01:44
#identity#self-esteem#legacy#chimp paradox#closing question